I am twenty-five now... and it's a very sobering thought.
All my life I thought that by the time I was twenty I'd be married, with some children... and that my life would be entirely different.
I also assumed that by being married my life would automatically be fulfilled and that I'd be perfectly happy and content.
Consequently I spent many years in "waiting for my life to start."
Since then I have realized that being married does not and will not and CANNOT fix things that are wrong or broken to start with. Marriage will only amplify any problems or areas of discontent that I now carry.
But it's sobering to wake up on the morning of one's twenty-fifth birthday and to realize that one is halfway to fifty... and on top of that to realize that one has not accomplished things that one thought would be accomplished long before now. Yes, I am one.
But I am also very thankful for lots of things in my life now. I am very thankful that I am where the Lord has me and I'm thankful that I'm busy and not waiting.
I'm thankful I didn't get married before realizing the things I have come to realize, and that God has taught me so much that will eventually be useful to marriage some day.
I'm thankful that God is always teaching me and growing me into the person He wants me to become. I'm so thankful that I have waked up and am listening to His beautiful voice and am learning how to become a beautiful person.
So if I reach my thirtieth birthday and am still (God forbid!! =) unmarried, I will know that it's because I had more to learn and that I needed to become more beautiful. And perhaps that is all that God wants for me. And that will be okay, once I become more of the person I'm supposed to be.
I am very thankful for my twenty-five single years. I hope the next twenty-five will be even better spent in growing in my Lord and Savior: Jesus Christ.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
A Few Things...
I have decided that there are a lot of things that I do because I want to or because I feel like it. I have also decided that feeling like it and wanting to are not very good reasons for doing things, in and of themselves.
For example, I have been writing posts on this blog of mine at whim, whenever I feel like it and want to. I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't think that's a very good reason for blog-writing, at least... when I started this blog I had a clear purpose in mind for it, and to write on it for such reasons as "feeling like it" and "cuz I wanna" defeats that purpose.
I have also decided that I really need some organization in my life... News-flash moment, yes?? =]
No, to be serious, organization is an area I'm extremely lacking in, whether from laziness or ... I don't know what.
I have also decided that I've been decidedly in the habit of, sort of just drifting along... through life... as though... I were an apple blossom... caught in a gentle, Spring breeze...
BLECK. I'm TIRED OF IT. I am tired of feeling aimless and blown about. That's part of the reason why I moved to Redmond in the first place, and here I am falling into my old pattern of behavior.
I guess it's not that surprising, seeing as what human nature IS after all... but I'M TIRED OF BEING HUMAN!
I feel like being a bit SUPER-human for once. I know a lot of people whom I would classify as seeming super-human. I am not one of them. Me-thinks it's time for a change.
...oof.
So. What does THAT look like??
Abraham, Joseph, Joshuah, Gideon, Daniel, Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman... I could go on. Again, "Oof."
Well, guess what's on my agenda? Try: Revamping Entire Self. For starters.
For example, I have been writing posts on this blog of mine at whim, whenever I feel like it and want to. I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't think that's a very good reason for blog-writing, at least... when I started this blog I had a clear purpose in mind for it, and to write on it for such reasons as "feeling like it" and "cuz I wanna" defeats that purpose.
I have also decided that I really need some organization in my life... News-flash moment, yes?? =]
No, to be serious, organization is an area I'm extremely lacking in, whether from laziness or ... I don't know what.
I have also decided that I've been decidedly in the habit of, sort of just drifting along... through life... as though... I were an apple blossom... caught in a gentle, Spring breeze...
BLECK. I'm TIRED OF IT. I am tired of feeling aimless and blown about. That's part of the reason why I moved to Redmond in the first place, and here I am falling into my old pattern of behavior.
I guess it's not that surprising, seeing as what human nature IS after all... but I'M TIRED OF BEING HUMAN!
I feel like being a bit SUPER-human for once. I know a lot of people whom I would classify as seeming super-human. I am not one of them. Me-thinks it's time for a change.
...oof.
So. What does THAT look like??
Abraham, Joseph, Joshuah, Gideon, Daniel, Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman... I could go on. Again, "Oof."
Well, guess what's on my agenda? Try: Revamping Entire Self. For starters.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Blessing Of Friendship
I have so many wonderful friends... God has blessed my life richly.
I have one particular friend who is rather more like a sister to me. Her name is Ronni (Riri, Ron, Ronaldo, or *gasp* her actual name: Rianna).
Ronni calls me periodically and I never answer my phone. So then she leaves a wonderfully enchanting, rambling and sometimes fairly garbled, but always very long, message on my voicemail. Then I'll call her back or sometimes she calls me several more times and anyway, eventually either I call and she answers or she'll call me for like the third time and I'll answer.
We talk. We talk for hours and hours and hours, unless she's on a fifteen-minute break or driving to a class. She tells me all the funny sories she's saved up for the past month or so (I never have any funny stories for her) and then we talk about our lives and what God's doing, or our frustrations.
I always try to fix all her problems, because that's what big sisters DO, right?? And I always come away feeling blessed by our discussion. We never small talk. She's too busy, for one thing, and we have way too much real stuff to talk about. She thinks about everything a LOT and I think about everything quite a bit, so we always have a lot of philosophizing to do with each other.
We always ask each other questions. Questions for the other person and questions we're struggling with ourselves. She is not at all afraid of REALLY HARD, SCARY, and sometimes yucky questions that nobody likes to deal with. I'm usually game for them, too, even if I don't always go searching them out and so we ask each other all these questions.
It's really hard to ask yourself hard questions without doing a lot of thinking about them and soul-searching and I find that having a discussion with Ronni helps clear out some of the cob-webs and a lot of the time it helps get me back on track or at least motivated to move in my walk with God.
Anyway, so that's Ronni.
Then there is the Mazur family. They are amazing. They have been friends with my family since I was like 8 or 9; we did homeschool together and piano lessons and AWANAs for like two minutes... anyway. This summer they invited me to come live with them.
So now I live in Redmond with the Mazurs. They have a dairy goat farm and Erin has Angora goats. I help milk two goats every morning and every evening and today I helped Mrs. Mazur clean out a stall in their barn and level it with dirt. Last month they put a lawn in in their back yard and we worked on it together for weeks getting it level, raking dirt, leveling some more, raking more dirt... yeah. It's been fun!
I had been living at home with my parents in the the middle of town in Cottage Grove; we had just moved the year before from Elkton where our church family was so we weren't going to a church. I kept the house clean and fixed dinner and did laundry and that was pretty much it. I stayed home while Mom went to work all day and Dad stayed in his office because that's what Daddy does.
Now I live with a family that is pretty much always around me; I attend their fellowship every Sunday (when we're home); there's always so much to do around the house and farm so I'm always busy/occupied with something. There's pretty much always someon to talk to so I'm not left to think to myself all day long.
I can't believe how much the Lord has blessed me with good friends.
I do get homesick, but that's nice in a way. It just means that I have a good life here and I have a family somewhere besides here that loves me a lot and whom I love, too.
I have one particular friend who is rather more like a sister to me. Her name is Ronni (Riri, Ron, Ronaldo, or *gasp* her actual name: Rianna).
Ronni calls me periodically and I never answer my phone. So then she leaves a wonderfully enchanting, rambling and sometimes fairly garbled, but always very long, message on my voicemail. Then I'll call her back or sometimes she calls me several more times and anyway, eventually either I call and she answers or she'll call me for like the third time and I'll answer.
We talk. We talk for hours and hours and hours, unless she's on a fifteen-minute break or driving to a class. She tells me all the funny sories she's saved up for the past month or so (I never have any funny stories for her) and then we talk about our lives and what God's doing, or our frustrations.
I always try to fix all her problems, because that's what big sisters DO, right?? And I always come away feeling blessed by our discussion. We never small talk. She's too busy, for one thing, and we have way too much real stuff to talk about. She thinks about everything a LOT and I think about everything quite a bit, so we always have a lot of philosophizing to do with each other.
We always ask each other questions. Questions for the other person and questions we're struggling with ourselves. She is not at all afraid of REALLY HARD, SCARY, and sometimes yucky questions that nobody likes to deal with. I'm usually game for them, too, even if I don't always go searching them out and so we ask each other all these questions.
It's really hard to ask yourself hard questions without doing a lot of thinking about them and soul-searching and I find that having a discussion with Ronni helps clear out some of the cob-webs and a lot of the time it helps get me back on track or at least motivated to move in my walk with God.
Anyway, so that's Ronni.
Then there is the Mazur family. They are amazing. They have been friends with my family since I was like 8 or 9; we did homeschool together and piano lessons and AWANAs for like two minutes... anyway. This summer they invited me to come live with them.
So now I live in Redmond with the Mazurs. They have a dairy goat farm and Erin has Angora goats. I help milk two goats every morning and every evening and today I helped Mrs. Mazur clean out a stall in their barn and level it with dirt. Last month they put a lawn in in their back yard and we worked on it together for weeks getting it level, raking dirt, leveling some more, raking more dirt... yeah. It's been fun!
I had been living at home with my parents in the the middle of town in Cottage Grove; we had just moved the year before from Elkton where our church family was so we weren't going to a church. I kept the house clean and fixed dinner and did laundry and that was pretty much it. I stayed home while Mom went to work all day and Dad stayed in his office because that's what Daddy does.
Now I live with a family that is pretty much always around me; I attend their fellowship every Sunday (when we're home); there's always so much to do around the house and farm so I'm always busy/occupied with something. There's pretty much always someon to talk to so I'm not left to think to myself all day long.
I can't believe how much the Lord has blessed me with good friends.
I do get homesick, but that's nice in a way. It just means that I have a good life here and I have a family somewhere besides here that loves me a lot and whom I love, too.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
If I Stand, Let Me Stand On The Promise...
"If I stand, let me stand on the promise: You have brought me through; and if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You. If I sing, let me sing for the joy that has born in me this song; and if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home." ~Rich Mullins
Lately I feel like I'm spending way more time falling on God's grace than I am standing on His promises. So, I guess, it's really good He's provided that loving platform for me.
But why can't I get my act together???
Wouldn't it be nice to stand bold, with confidence, claiming and living the promises of God? Instead I feel like a weak and miserable worm - constantly mooching off the grace, love and goodness of my Savior.
I really think the problem is a lack of spending time in the Word, coupled with tiredness. Or possibly, the tiredness is caused, or at least exascerbated, by the lack of time spent in communion with my Lord... either way the case is clear: Lela is being lazy and stupid and needs a kick in her fanny.
I'm tired of falling on the grace; I want to start standing on the promises of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm tired of weeping and moaning within myself and basically spending most of my days in a vague and mist-filled sort of pity-party; I want to sing for the joy that has born in me songs of worship, love and adoration of my Savior.
He has done it. He did it on the cross, so that I could live.
Lately I feel like I'm spending way more time falling on God's grace than I am standing on His promises. So, I guess, it's really good He's provided that loving platform for me.
But why can't I get my act together???
Wouldn't it be nice to stand bold, with confidence, claiming and living the promises of God? Instead I feel like a weak and miserable worm - constantly mooching off the grace, love and goodness of my Savior.
I really think the problem is a lack of spending time in the Word, coupled with tiredness. Or possibly, the tiredness is caused, or at least exascerbated, by the lack of time spent in communion with my Lord... either way the case is clear: Lela is being lazy and stupid and needs a kick in her fanny.
I'm tired of falling on the grace; I want to start standing on the promises of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm tired of weeping and moaning within myself and basically spending most of my days in a vague and mist-filled sort of pity-party; I want to sing for the joy that has born in me songs of worship, love and adoration of my Savior.
He has done it. He did it on the cross, so that I could live.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
September Closes
I have a bunch of jumbled thoughts all tumbling together in my head and I'm not even sure if I can get them out to make sense of...
But the month is coming to a close and I realize that I have only two posts for the month of September, which saddens me.
Now, there are several very logical, satisfying, judicial reasons... but it simply saddens me that I haven't the time to post at least once a week anymore. It causes me to question my motives for not posting: Am I really busy, or is it just a lack of in-depth thought-provoking substance of thought on my part?
Am I not posting out of laziness, or am I really justified in not taking the time to think about something long enough for my soul to need the outlet of writing it and posting it in it's conclusion?
Today is the last day of September. What do I have to show for it? Have I done nothing of substance? I think the answer to that is no. So let's examine.
I have been contemplating a lot of things of great substance but I'm not sure I've been able to carry them to any sort of conclusion in my mind. I've been struggling with the trial of living away from home and combining my biological family with my tangible family.
I call the Mazurs my tangible family simply because they are now the family I interact with on a daily basis. I'm not saying my biological family are not REAL family, or tangible, I just have removed myself from them - about a two-and-a-half hour drive away. So as you can see, I don't see them very often as of late.
I've talked with Erin on several occasions about how I feel like I'm on a raft floating out in the middle of the sea, miles away from anything. And we debate about how her family's raft plays a role with my little one-seater. We've decided I'm sort of floating away from my parents' raft and kind of looking back wistfully, and the Mazurs have tossed me a line and I've caught it and tied it to my mast, so they are tugging me along behind them, and now the slack has gone and I'm being shunted along and wondering what's happening(??!!).
I've shared with her how I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo.
I really do think I'm in a limbo state. It's not a state of having nothing to do, or being discontented, or even waiting for my life to start... exactly. I'm just in a state of unsettled-ness. It's not stemming from being away from my parents... being with my parents simply masks the restlessness of my spirit.
No, I feel that God has me in this state for a good reason and a purpose. I feel like the next step of my life will be marriage and the process of making my OWN family. Constructing a multi-seater family raft that will be mine and my husbands and nobody else's.
Again, I must state that this restlessness does NOT equate discontent, or having nothing to do until the next phase begins. I just simply am aware of what's going on and my own feeling of restlessness.
Now, lest anyone get excited: I am NOT in courtship with anyone; nor do I have any reason to believe that that will be happening anytime in the near future. I have no reason to believe that there is the prospect of that happening at this time. I just feel that it will be the next phase of my life, whether that be within the next year, or the next ten years.
I will not attempt to sound holier than I am... I WANT IT TO HAPPEN NOW!!!! My soul cries out in anguish of spirit of the wrenching desire to BE MARRIED. I find myself fighting with my knowledge of God and that His timing is perfect and find myself wondering if He has forgotten me.
At the same time, I am very busy and sometimes get so caught up in my busyness that I forget entirely that I have a wrenching pain in my gut. I like this condition much better. Busyness is such a gift from God.
I will also not try to sound like I'm in more anguish of spirit, or wandering away from God in my own consuming desires. This is not the case. Yes I struggle. But I DO have knowledge of who God is, and I'm so thankful to be able to rest in Him at the same time as I pour out my desires into His lap.
I know that He sees me and hears me; I am confident that He knows the plans that He has for me... plans to build me up and not to tear me down; to give me a hope and a future.
And, so far, I'm quietly confident that those plans include a husband, for whom I will be an good help meet.
But the month is coming to a close and I realize that I have only two posts for the month of September, which saddens me.
Now, there are several very logical, satisfying, judicial reasons... but it simply saddens me that I haven't the time to post at least once a week anymore. It causes me to question my motives for not posting: Am I really busy, or is it just a lack of in-depth thought-provoking substance of thought on my part?
Am I not posting out of laziness, or am I really justified in not taking the time to think about something long enough for my soul to need the outlet of writing it and posting it in it's conclusion?
Today is the last day of September. What do I have to show for it? Have I done nothing of substance? I think the answer to that is no. So let's examine.
I have been contemplating a lot of things of great substance but I'm not sure I've been able to carry them to any sort of conclusion in my mind. I've been struggling with the trial of living away from home and combining my biological family with my tangible family.
I call the Mazurs my tangible family simply because they are now the family I interact with on a daily basis. I'm not saying my biological family are not REAL family, or tangible, I just have removed myself from them - about a two-and-a-half hour drive away. So as you can see, I don't see them very often as of late.
I've talked with Erin on several occasions about how I feel like I'm on a raft floating out in the middle of the sea, miles away from anything. And we debate about how her family's raft plays a role with my little one-seater. We've decided I'm sort of floating away from my parents' raft and kind of looking back wistfully, and the Mazurs have tossed me a line and I've caught it and tied it to my mast, so they are tugging me along behind them, and now the slack has gone and I'm being shunted along and wondering what's happening(??!!).
I've shared with her how I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo.
I really do think I'm in a limbo state. It's not a state of having nothing to do, or being discontented, or even waiting for my life to start... exactly. I'm just in a state of unsettled-ness. It's not stemming from being away from my parents... being with my parents simply masks the restlessness of my spirit.
No, I feel that God has me in this state for a good reason and a purpose. I feel like the next step of my life will be marriage and the process of making my OWN family. Constructing a multi-seater family raft that will be mine and my husbands and nobody else's.
Again, I must state that this restlessness does NOT equate discontent, or having nothing to do until the next phase begins. I just simply am aware of what's going on and my own feeling of restlessness.
Now, lest anyone get excited: I am NOT in courtship with anyone; nor do I have any reason to believe that that will be happening anytime in the near future. I have no reason to believe that there is the prospect of that happening at this time. I just feel that it will be the next phase of my life, whether that be within the next year, or the next ten years.
I will not attempt to sound holier than I am... I WANT IT TO HAPPEN NOW!!!! My soul cries out in anguish of spirit of the wrenching desire to BE MARRIED. I find myself fighting with my knowledge of God and that His timing is perfect and find myself wondering if He has forgotten me.
At the same time, I am very busy and sometimes get so caught up in my busyness that I forget entirely that I have a wrenching pain in my gut. I like this condition much better. Busyness is such a gift from God.
I will also not try to sound like I'm in more anguish of spirit, or wandering away from God in my own consuming desires. This is not the case. Yes I struggle. But I DO have knowledge of who God is, and I'm so thankful to be able to rest in Him at the same time as I pour out my desires into His lap.
I know that He sees me and hears me; I am confident that He knows the plans that He has for me... plans to build me up and not to tear me down; to give me a hope and a future.
And, so far, I'm quietly confident that those plans include a husband, for whom I will be an good help meet.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thinking...
Well, I'm thinking about writing a book.
Not really a new thought for me, I have about four books started and am still slogging my way through most of them.
But this book would be different. This book would be about me, AND be fictional at the same time. I have started a few fiction books, and have a work in progress that is about me, but not a fictional book about me...
I guess this blog is about discovering why this book frightens and excites me at the same time.
If I start this book, I don't want to just get a few chapters written and then shelve it. Once I start this book I intend to follow it through to completion. That's a big step for me. I am great at starting things, but I'm the master at leaving them unfinished and going off to start the next new thing that interests me.
I can't even count the multitude of projects begun, some mostly done some barely even started, and then left to mildew and become moth-eaten on a shelf or stuffed into a closet or packed away into a drawer and forgotten.
But this book can't go like that. I have decided that I have way too many unfinished projects to simply start another with the same attitude of whim and abandon.
One of the reasons this book frightens me is that it means putting myself into a character that can be read on a page. I pride myself on knowing "me" pretty well... but do I? I fancy I know myself a lot better than most people know themselves, but is that enough to enable me to characterize myself? Am I really honest enough with myself to put myself on a page and make people really be able to identify with this character? And if I CAN do that... can I make people love me?
I guess I'm frightened of being so absolutely transparent.
Why is it so different from the non-fiction books I've started that are about me? I would think that would feel pretty transparent... but for some reason it's quite a different thing.
Ah well, we shall see. Thanks for joining me on this ramble!
Not really a new thought for me, I have about four books started and am still slogging my way through most of them.
But this book would be different. This book would be about me, AND be fictional at the same time. I have started a few fiction books, and have a work in progress that is about me, but not a fictional book about me...
I guess this blog is about discovering why this book frightens and excites me at the same time.
If I start this book, I don't want to just get a few chapters written and then shelve it. Once I start this book I intend to follow it through to completion. That's a big step for me. I am great at starting things, but I'm the master at leaving them unfinished and going off to start the next new thing that interests me.
I can't even count the multitude of projects begun, some mostly done some barely even started, and then left to mildew and become moth-eaten on a shelf or stuffed into a closet or packed away into a drawer and forgotten.
But this book can't go like that. I have decided that I have way too many unfinished projects to simply start another with the same attitude of whim and abandon.
One of the reasons this book frightens me is that it means putting myself into a character that can be read on a page. I pride myself on knowing "me" pretty well... but do I? I fancy I know myself a lot better than most people know themselves, but is that enough to enable me to characterize myself? Am I really honest enough with myself to put myself on a page and make people really be able to identify with this character? And if I CAN do that... can I make people love me?
I guess I'm frightened of being so absolutely transparent.
Why is it so different from the non-fiction books I've started that are about me? I would think that would feel pretty transparent... but for some reason it's quite a different thing.
Ah well, we shall see. Thanks for joining me on this ramble!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Love Covers a Multitude of Sins
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." (I Corinthians 13:4-8)
In most of our romantic comedies, or love stories (i.e. chick flicks) we're given the line, "Love conquers all!" But we aren't shown a true portrayal of what love is. In Paul's first epistlet to the Corinthian church he clearly tells us what God's version of "love" is.
It's not some touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey romantic emotion that takes over your mind and fills your head with a euphoric sense of devotion to some "stray puppy-dog" of a man.
Love is a divine gift. Love is what died on the cross, knowing that it was dying for sick and sinning people still trapped in their death-throws of putrid carnal lusts. Love looked through all that rancouring decay and determined, "These children I will take to my heart and save; they are worth dying for."
Yes, love conquers all, it conquered the grave!
But it isn't the weak little lifeless thing we think it is. It's the love of Christ. It is a piece of God's power.
This power cancels the punishment of sin, paying off the debt for our transgressions, buying pardon where there was guilt; life where there was death.
This power is not only attainable by God for Himself to use toward us, but even we can tap into it's power for our own use - through the Holy Spirit: God dwelling in us once we are saved.
We have this amazing power that we can channel to our fellow-children and God promises that with love we can "cover a multitude of sins." This means that when someone sins against us, we can cover that sin with love.
Not our own "love" - God's love. We have God's love and we can cover sin with it!
What a better use of our abilities it would be to cover another's sin with love, rather than to point fingers and lay blame and guilt on that person. What a testimony of our heritage - Christianity - we have the power of portraying to the world!
In most of our romantic comedies, or love stories (i.e. chick flicks) we're given the line, "Love conquers all!" But we aren't shown a true portrayal of what love is. In Paul's first epistlet to the Corinthian church he clearly tells us what God's version of "love" is.
It's not some touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey romantic emotion that takes over your mind and fills your head with a euphoric sense of devotion to some "stray puppy-dog" of a man.
Love is a divine gift. Love is what died on the cross, knowing that it was dying for sick and sinning people still trapped in their death-throws of putrid carnal lusts. Love looked through all that rancouring decay and determined, "These children I will take to my heart and save; they are worth dying for."
Yes, love conquers all, it conquered the grave!
But it isn't the weak little lifeless thing we think it is. It's the love of Christ. It is a piece of God's power.
This power cancels the punishment of sin, paying off the debt for our transgressions, buying pardon where there was guilt; life where there was death.
This power is not only attainable by God for Himself to use toward us, but even we can tap into it's power for our own use - through the Holy Spirit: God dwelling in us once we are saved.
We have this amazing power that we can channel to our fellow-children and God promises that with love we can "cover a multitude of sins." This means that when someone sins against us, we can cover that sin with love.
Not our own "love" - God's love. We have God's love and we can cover sin with it!
What a better use of our abilities it would be to cover another's sin with love, rather than to point fingers and lay blame and guilt on that person. What a testimony of our heritage - Christianity - we have the power of portraying to the world!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A Word (or four) On Respect
What is respect? Is it something just for certain people, like husbands and fathers?
I don't think so. I think it's for everyone. I think, especially, for anyone you have any sort of "relationship" with.
What does respect look like? It seems like some untangible state of mind that is only attainable when you feel a certain way.
I don't believe that's what it is. I believe it's a choice and a concious decision to respect someone.
Most people think that if they have friendships and show their friends how important they are in their lives that that is respect. But is it respect to cling to someone and not listen to what they say? To desperately hold onto to something you maybe think you're loosing without choosing to do what your friend asks of you?
I think respect equals doing what someone needs regardless of how you feel. Trusting them enough to believe what they tell you. Doing what they ask when it makes you feel devastated to do it.
I think it also means being the person, sometimes, who asks the thing that is devastating of the other - being willing to risk loosing the relationship in order to obey God's Word. After all, if your relationship with the person is disobedient to God, then I guarantee you, it's not a healthy relationship for either party to be involved in.
Respect does not equal doing what feels good. Respect does not equal making someone happy. It means obeying God and it equals deferring your preference to God's will and the other person. Respect means valuing a person. It means valuing what they need and what will benefit them before God. It means acting circumspectly in order benifit the person by obeying God and helping them to, by your actions. It means not leading them into sin because it's something that feels good to you.
It means sacrificing yourself on the alter of God's Word and will - both His will for you, and also for the other person. It means being willing to do what feels terrible to you if it's what you believe God is asking for the sake of the other person.
It doesn NOT (this is a rant, now) equal disregarding what your friend tells you and continuing to chase after whatever you want. It does NOT equal going to a person for advice, pretending to agree, and then going out and doing the opposite while pretending to agree with the advice-giver. It does NOT equal ignoring what someone is asking of you. It DOES equal listening, deference, submission to God and God's leading both in your life and your freind's life.
I don't think so. I think it's for everyone. I think, especially, for anyone you have any sort of "relationship" with.
What does respect look like? It seems like some untangible state of mind that is only attainable when you feel a certain way.
I don't believe that's what it is. I believe it's a choice and a concious decision to respect someone.
Most people think that if they have friendships and show their friends how important they are in their lives that that is respect. But is it respect to cling to someone and not listen to what they say? To desperately hold onto to something you maybe think you're loosing without choosing to do what your friend asks of you?
I think respect equals doing what someone needs regardless of how you feel. Trusting them enough to believe what they tell you. Doing what they ask when it makes you feel devastated to do it.
I think it also means being the person, sometimes, who asks the thing that is devastating of the other - being willing to risk loosing the relationship in order to obey God's Word. After all, if your relationship with the person is disobedient to God, then I guarantee you, it's not a healthy relationship for either party to be involved in.
Respect does not equal doing what feels good. Respect does not equal making someone happy. It means obeying God and it equals deferring your preference to God's will and the other person. Respect means valuing a person. It means valuing what they need and what will benefit them before God. It means acting circumspectly in order benifit the person by obeying God and helping them to, by your actions. It means not leading them into sin because it's something that feels good to you.
It means sacrificing yourself on the alter of God's Word and will - both His will for you, and also for the other person. It means being willing to do what feels terrible to you if it's what you believe God is asking for the sake of the other person.
It doesn NOT (this is a rant, now) equal disregarding what your friend tells you and continuing to chase after whatever you want. It does NOT equal going to a person for advice, pretending to agree, and then going out and doing the opposite while pretending to agree with the advice-giver. It does NOT equal ignoring what someone is asking of you. It DOES equal listening, deference, submission to God and God's leading both in your life and your freind's life.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sometimes...
Sometimes everything is perfect.
It takes my breath away and I can just see the strokes of God's brush on the canvas He's named "Lela." It's amazing, the clarity, the vision... the magnificent beauty and purpose just stand out and speak to me of the author and finisher of my faith. I'm assured that my life is designed with this Ultra Significance and grand view in mind, just for me! I set forth to achieve the goal given me, I have confidence in The One who sends me forth. I round each corner expecting to complete my task, energy exuding from my being and I can't wait to see what lies ahead!
Sometimes everything is foggy.
I still feel this hazy sense of purpose, but somehow I've lost the clarity. I know the goal, but all of a sudden I can't seem to find the way to get there. The pathway I was so sure about seems to be all but disappearing right before my feet. Something within me starts hesitating and everything seems like a struggle. I fight my way forward, now unsure that I'm aiming the proper direction. I'm hoping, as I round each new corner, to suddenly see the light that once shone so clear, to feel the hand of God I felt just moments before and was so certain I was following truly.
Sometimes everything grows dim.
All at once, in the middle of the fog, the lights go out. I'm left all alone and bewildered in the middle of the woods. I've turned countless corners and have no idea where I am. There isn't the faintest glimmer of light or the feeling of the presence of God's direction or hand. What seemed like the surest route now has me lost and helpless and desperately afraid. I long to turn and run, but there is no way I can find my way back in the darkness and fog.
Sometimes I come to the end of myself.
I fling myself down on the carpet of the wood's floor and cry out in utter despair. I cry out to God to rescue me, to save me from the black pit I'm sure I've stumbled into. Why won't He stretch out His hand and save me? Why won't He pluck me out of this dank, dark hole? Why won't He deliver me from the prison He's led me into??!!
Sometimes the morning comes.
I wake up on the ground in the most beautiful wooded sanctuary I've ever seen. Radiant light filters in through the trees that stand, tall and protecting, all around me. The pathway I'd been traveling now lies beneath me, stretching along through the woods and out a ways, going uphill, to the top of a mountain. The mountain-top is a mile or two away, but I can see the top of it, my destination, my focal point - the purpose toward which I've been persevering and struggling toward.
Sometimes I must plow on.
I get up and start walking. I make it out of the woods. My fright has winded me and I'm still a bit down from becoming so emotionally driven. My stamina is low, and I find I must stop to take breaks quite freaquently. But seeing the mountain-top from back in the woods has my courage up and my attitude is much more positive. I know God is there, has been there the whole time. He's just waiting for me to obey Him.
Sometimes I reach the top.
I finally make it to the top of the mountain. I can look out all around me and see for miles and miles. I can see the pathway, down below, that I've been traveling, into the woods, and out of the woods and up to where I'm perched. God feels right beside me and there is a bright shining ray of light in my very soul. I am completely rejuvinated and feel like I can do anything. The world is mine for the taking and I know I can accomplish whatever will be asked of me next.
Sometimes I must wait.
While on the mountain I feel ambitious to achieve; I know there are more mountains out there to be conqured and I'm anxious to take them on! I keep expecting God's direction to lead me to them, with every breath expecting the call to go! But it doesn't seem to come. Agitatedly I pace back and forth and don't hear the summons I await. Frustrated, I finally sit down on the rock that appears to be positioned carefully to best view the magnificent tableau seen from my vantage point. Then I hear the still, quiet whisper: "My child, rest."
It takes my breath away and I can just see the strokes of God's brush on the canvas He's named "Lela." It's amazing, the clarity, the vision... the magnificent beauty and purpose just stand out and speak to me of the author and finisher of my faith. I'm assured that my life is designed with this Ultra Significance and grand view in mind, just for me! I set forth to achieve the goal given me, I have confidence in The One who sends me forth. I round each corner expecting to complete my task, energy exuding from my being and I can't wait to see what lies ahead!
Sometimes everything is foggy.
I still feel this hazy sense of purpose, but somehow I've lost the clarity. I know the goal, but all of a sudden I can't seem to find the way to get there. The pathway I was so sure about seems to be all but disappearing right before my feet. Something within me starts hesitating and everything seems like a struggle. I fight my way forward, now unsure that I'm aiming the proper direction. I'm hoping, as I round each new corner, to suddenly see the light that once shone so clear, to feel the hand of God I felt just moments before and was so certain I was following truly.
Sometimes everything grows dim.
All at once, in the middle of the fog, the lights go out. I'm left all alone and bewildered in the middle of the woods. I've turned countless corners and have no idea where I am. There isn't the faintest glimmer of light or the feeling of the presence of God's direction or hand. What seemed like the surest route now has me lost and helpless and desperately afraid. I long to turn and run, but there is no way I can find my way back in the darkness and fog.
Sometimes I come to the end of myself.
I fling myself down on the carpet of the wood's floor and cry out in utter despair. I cry out to God to rescue me, to save me from the black pit I'm sure I've stumbled into. Why won't He stretch out His hand and save me? Why won't He pluck me out of this dank, dark hole? Why won't He deliver me from the prison He's led me into??!!
Sometimes the morning comes.
I wake up on the ground in the most beautiful wooded sanctuary I've ever seen. Radiant light filters in through the trees that stand, tall and protecting, all around me. The pathway I'd been traveling now lies beneath me, stretching along through the woods and out a ways, going uphill, to the top of a mountain. The mountain-top is a mile or two away, but I can see the top of it, my destination, my focal point - the purpose toward which I've been persevering and struggling toward.
Sometimes I must plow on.
I get up and start walking. I make it out of the woods. My fright has winded me and I'm still a bit down from becoming so emotionally driven. My stamina is low, and I find I must stop to take breaks quite freaquently. But seeing the mountain-top from back in the woods has my courage up and my attitude is much more positive. I know God is there, has been there the whole time. He's just waiting for me to obey Him.
Sometimes I reach the top.
I finally make it to the top of the mountain. I can look out all around me and see for miles and miles. I can see the pathway, down below, that I've been traveling, into the woods, and out of the woods and up to where I'm perched. God feels right beside me and there is a bright shining ray of light in my very soul. I am completely rejuvinated and feel like I can do anything. The world is mine for the taking and I know I can accomplish whatever will be asked of me next.
Sometimes I must wait.
While on the mountain I feel ambitious to achieve; I know there are more mountains out there to be conqured and I'm anxious to take them on! I keep expecting God's direction to lead me to them, with every breath expecting the call to go! But it doesn't seem to come. Agitatedly I pace back and forth and don't hear the summons I await. Frustrated, I finally sit down on the rock that appears to be positioned carefully to best view the magnificent tableau seen from my vantage point. Then I hear the still, quiet whisper: "My child, rest."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Faith Like A Mustard Seed
Periodically I come to the realization that I have that sort of faith. The faith like a mustard seed. Pretty tiny. But God says that with that faith you can move mountains. That seems amazing to me. Maybe I DON'T have the faith of a mustard seed... maybe it's more like, faith like a microbial organism.
But even so... I stand amazed, time and again, at God's working in my life, through my tiny, helpless little faith. That God can take something that is so limp and useless and cause His wonders to happen in my life nonetheless, is nothing short of miraculous.
My standard modus operandi is 1) To be reading and seeking God's will in my life and trying to live it. 2) Then I come to some crossroad in my life where I can't make whatever it is happen in my life and must wait on the Lord in some way. 3) I Say to myself, "I must trust in God in this matter, only He can solve it." 4) Immediately start fretting and becoming anxious as I battle trying to trust the Lord of All... 5) Stand, astounded, at God's final word in the matter, watching His orchestration in my life as He miraculously causes His will to glorify Himself through my life. 6) Kick myself in the pants for ever having fretted in the first place.
I'd just like to tell everyone who ever reads this blog, that, "My parents are amazing." I don't give them the credit they deserve and I love them very very, extraordinarily, much. They REALLY DO have my best interests at heart, and they love me. I don't know why I find this all so hard to see and/or believe sometimes, but there you have it. Kicking myself, I am.
But even so... I stand amazed, time and again, at God's working in my life, through my tiny, helpless little faith. That God can take something that is so limp and useless and cause His wonders to happen in my life nonetheless, is nothing short of miraculous.
My standard modus operandi is 1) To be reading and seeking God's will in my life and trying to live it. 2) Then I come to some crossroad in my life where I can't make whatever it is happen in my life and must wait on the Lord in some way. 3) I Say to myself, "I must trust in God in this matter, only He can solve it." 4) Immediately start fretting and becoming anxious as I battle trying to trust the Lord of All... 5) Stand, astounded, at God's final word in the matter, watching His orchestration in my life as He miraculously causes His will to glorify Himself through my life. 6) Kick myself in the pants for ever having fretted in the first place.
I'd just like to tell everyone who ever reads this blog, that, "My parents are amazing." I don't give them the credit they deserve and I love them very very, extraordinarily, much. They REALLY DO have my best interests at heart, and they love me. I don't know why I find this all so hard to see and/or believe sometimes, but there you have it. Kicking myself, I am.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Delight Yourself In The Lord And He Will Give You The Desires Of Your Heart
It sounds so simple. It seems like God is saying He'll give you what you want most.
It's not as simple as it may appear. Nobody (who goes around touting this verse as a means of getting stuff) talks about the fine-print.
For one thing, there is a lot of waiting involved.
You want something and ask God to give it to you and then you wait - sometimes for a very long time - and one of two things happens. 1) God gives you whatever it is you wanted. 2) He doesn't.
Wait a minute! I thought it said He WOULD give it to you! Does it? No!!!
It's says, "DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. That is a conditional promise. God will give you the desires of your heart, IF you delight yourself in Him.
Okay, so say you are delighted in the Lord and you want something, and you ask it of Him. Again, there is a LOOOOOT of waiting. Again, one of two things will happen. 1) God will give you what you ask for. 2) He'll change the desires of your heart.
Sometimes, in our own understanding, that seems like a cop-out on God's part. But it sooooo isn't. The Bible says the He longs to give us the things we want, just as a parent longs to give their children the things they want. But the truth is: children do NOT always want what is best for them.
God, in His loving grace, understands our hearts and desires, but better and more importantly, what it is we really need. He knows exactly what will happen if we get the things we so desperately want. He perceives the outcome of our wishes being granted. And He wants what's best for us. Not what will give a moment's pleasure, but what will satisfy our souls. What will give us a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, '"For I know the plans I have for you," sayeth the Lord, "plans to build you up and not to tear you down; to give you a hope and a future."'
Now, I know that He was saying that to His 'chosen people' the Jews. But I really think He meant it for everyone that belongs to Him. This means that He knows the future, He wants us to be happy in the future as well as now. He understands our hearts and what He has planned for each of us individually. He wants to make us happy for the rest of our lives. And He knows how to. We don't.
If we are delighted in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts BECAUSE we want what will glorify Him - what will make us happy for all of eternity.
It's not as simple as it may appear. Nobody (who goes around touting this verse as a means of getting stuff) talks about the fine-print.
For one thing, there is a lot of waiting involved.
You want something and ask God to give it to you and then you wait - sometimes for a very long time - and one of two things happens. 1) God gives you whatever it is you wanted. 2) He doesn't.
Wait a minute! I thought it said He WOULD give it to you! Does it? No!!!
It's says, "DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. That is a conditional promise. God will give you the desires of your heart, IF you delight yourself in Him.
Okay, so say you are delighted in the Lord and you want something, and you ask it of Him. Again, there is a LOOOOOT of waiting. Again, one of two things will happen. 1) God will give you what you ask for. 2) He'll change the desires of your heart.
Sometimes, in our own understanding, that seems like a cop-out on God's part. But it sooooo isn't. The Bible says the He longs to give us the things we want, just as a parent longs to give their children the things they want. But the truth is: children do NOT always want what is best for them.
God, in His loving grace, understands our hearts and desires, but better and more importantly, what it is we really need. He knows exactly what will happen if we get the things we so desperately want. He perceives the outcome of our wishes being granted. And He wants what's best for us. Not what will give a moment's pleasure, but what will satisfy our souls. What will give us a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, '"For I know the plans I have for you," sayeth the Lord, "plans to build you up and not to tear you down; to give you a hope and a future."'
Now, I know that He was saying that to His 'chosen people' the Jews. But I really think He meant it for everyone that belongs to Him. This means that He knows the future, He wants us to be happy in the future as well as now. He understands our hearts and what He has planned for each of us individually. He wants to make us happy for the rest of our lives. And He knows how to. We don't.
If we are delighted in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts BECAUSE we want what will glorify Him - what will make us happy for all of eternity.
Friday, August 6, 2010
"To Step Out of My Comfort Zone... Where Jesus Is..."
I love Casting Crowns. Their lyrics are always so right-on.
"Oh what I would to have the kind of strength it takes to step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is..."
Jesus isn't in my comfort zone. He's a few steps ahead, hand out-stretched, beckoning me onward. His voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid... this is for My glory!" Will I listen and believe?
I want to. I make steps toward it every-so-often... but then, sometimes, I let go of His hand and drop back, behind, to my comfort zone.
Now... the term 'comfort zone' can be misleading. It seems to imply a realm of comfort and safety. But in actuality, my comfort zone is usually a toxic, unhealthy waste-land of misery. But it's what I know, and that feels safe to me. How sad is that?
If I just bite back my fear, reach forward and take the hand of Jesus, allowing Him to draw me on into His glory and light, that will be the land of safety, comfort, healing, and joy.
The truth is that I want to be in the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, all the time. It doesn't matter what that means, where that will take me, or where that will take me FROM. It will be Joy, Peace and Glory. I can't imagine how awesome it would be to be surrounded by the peace of knowing I was exactly in the center of God's will ALL THE TIME. Every now and then I find myself there, or nearly there... and it's like breathing fresh, pure air after being stuck in a swamp of toxic waste.
But I never stay there long. I always end up drawing myself backward, into my "comfort zone," out of the grace of God's love and protection and back into my toxic waste dump.
That sounds pretty depressing, I suppose. But I can still see the progress. I go a few paces forward and then busy myself making a swamp to live in. Then God pulls me out and I go forward a few more paces, and then try to make another swamp-dwelling. But His love and faithfulness keeps on pulling me back out, onto solid ground, and further into His glory. His faithfulness goes beyond my weakness. His mercy goes further than my understanding and failings.
He sees me where I am, and loves me all the more. He sees me, not as a grimy swamp-dweller, but, as His precious and glorified child. I thank Him, with everything I have, for everything He is.
"Oh what I would to have the kind of strength it takes to step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is..."
Jesus isn't in my comfort zone. He's a few steps ahead, hand out-stretched, beckoning me onward. His voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid... this is for My glory!" Will I listen and believe?
I want to. I make steps toward it every-so-often... but then, sometimes, I let go of His hand and drop back, behind, to my comfort zone.
Now... the term 'comfort zone' can be misleading. It seems to imply a realm of comfort and safety. But in actuality, my comfort zone is usually a toxic, unhealthy waste-land of misery. But it's what I know, and that feels safe to me. How sad is that?
If I just bite back my fear, reach forward and take the hand of Jesus, allowing Him to draw me on into His glory and light, that will be the land of safety, comfort, healing, and joy.
The truth is that I want to be in the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, all the time. It doesn't matter what that means, where that will take me, or where that will take me FROM. It will be Joy, Peace and Glory. I can't imagine how awesome it would be to be surrounded by the peace of knowing I was exactly in the center of God's will ALL THE TIME. Every now and then I find myself there, or nearly there... and it's like breathing fresh, pure air after being stuck in a swamp of toxic waste.
But I never stay there long. I always end up drawing myself backward, into my "comfort zone," out of the grace of God's love and protection and back into my toxic waste dump.
That sounds pretty depressing, I suppose. But I can still see the progress. I go a few paces forward and then busy myself making a swamp to live in. Then God pulls me out and I go forward a few more paces, and then try to make another swamp-dwelling. But His love and faithfulness keeps on pulling me back out, onto solid ground, and further into His glory. His faithfulness goes beyond my weakness. His mercy goes further than my understanding and failings.
He sees me where I am, and loves me all the more. He sees me, not as a grimy swamp-dweller, but, as His precious and glorified child. I thank Him, with everything I have, for everything He is.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
An Excellent Wife, Who Can Find?
I have a new motto:
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (I like the translation that says "rubies" better, they're pretty). The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax, and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vine-yard. She girds herself with strength (I like this version better than "loins," loins seem less feminine), and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excell them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Giver her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
(Proverbs 31:10-31)
"Ambitious" you say? You bet your britches!!
You ask, "But, Lela, you aren't even married yet! You don't even have a potential suitor! Why are you worrying about being an excellent wife at this early time??"
I ask you, did you SEE everything the excellent wife does? Did you SEE how capable and well-learned she is?? I don't think I'll become her in the next TWENTY YEARS, let alone however long it takes before I get married... let alone waiting to start until I DO get married. How imprudent it would be to spurn these wonderful, God-given years of single leisure-time by not "girding myself" and making ready!!
How UN-excellent a wife I would make my poor future husband if I did not start readying myself now; if I did not start "doing him good and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE" NOW!! Besides, do you not suppose I could make my parents an excellent daughter by starting practice up now? How much worth would there be in expediting the skills portrayed in the Excellent Wife for my own family right now!
Ambitious, yes... but of such tremendous worth: far above rubies.
Again you say, "But Lela! Think of yourself! Think of your education! You could be going to school, starting a career, not mooching off your parents income!"
LOOK at that passage of scripture. Just look at what an excellent wife is! She is, by no means, unlearned or uneducated. She by no means is mooching off her husband. She's ENRICHING HIS LIFE TEN-FOLD. I ask you, how much money does a person spend "educating" themselves? Who does that money profit? What exactly are these "careers" young women are readying themselves for? Who does it profit? What can I learn from a professor in a class-room that I cannot teach myself? What can I learn from a book bought in a community-college bookstore, at ten times the price, that I cannot learn from a book, chosen by MYSELF, from a book distributor of my own choosing, read on my own terms?
What can I learn about finances in a college atmosphere that I cannot learn by taking over the grocery budget for my family? What can I learn from a college course in nutrition that I cannot learn from a good nutritional cookbook?
(steps down off soap-box; puts soap-box back in storage shed)
Now. College definitely has it's place and purpose. I'm not saying that it's inherrantly evil... exactly. But it is touted as FUNDAMENTAL to "good society." And that is plain wrong. It isn't fundamental. It is a privelege. It isn't necessary. It is a choice.
I think that if a person has saved up all their pennies and wishes to be a doctor... well then the place to go is college. If you want something you can't get without a SPECIFIC degree, then you should go to college and acquire that degree and go out and get it. But this whole modern belief that any ol' person who has no idea what they want, well they all need to go to college, college is the next step, college is the only way to be somebody... that's bogus.
I actually didn't start this with a rant about college in mind... this has really become a ramble.
I want to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman. I think I can do that from my position at home, under my father's authority, without "higher education" - but not without educating myself in the ways of God or in the ways that God would have me educate myself.
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (I like the translation that says "rubies" better, they're pretty). The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax, and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vine-yard. She girds herself with strength (I like this version better than "loins," loins seem less feminine), and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excell them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Giver her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
(Proverbs 31:10-31)
"Ambitious" you say? You bet your britches!!
You ask, "But, Lela, you aren't even married yet! You don't even have a potential suitor! Why are you worrying about being an excellent wife at this early time??"
I ask you, did you SEE everything the excellent wife does? Did you SEE how capable and well-learned she is?? I don't think I'll become her in the next TWENTY YEARS, let alone however long it takes before I get married... let alone waiting to start until I DO get married. How imprudent it would be to spurn these wonderful, God-given years of single leisure-time by not "girding myself" and making ready!!
How UN-excellent a wife I would make my poor future husband if I did not start readying myself now; if I did not start "doing him good and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE" NOW!! Besides, do you not suppose I could make my parents an excellent daughter by starting practice up now? How much worth would there be in expediting the skills portrayed in the Excellent Wife for my own family right now!
Ambitious, yes... but of such tremendous worth: far above rubies.
Again you say, "But Lela! Think of yourself! Think of your education! You could be going to school, starting a career, not mooching off your parents income!"
LOOK at that passage of scripture. Just look at what an excellent wife is! She is, by no means, unlearned or uneducated. She by no means is mooching off her husband. She's ENRICHING HIS LIFE TEN-FOLD. I ask you, how much money does a person spend "educating" themselves? Who does that money profit? What exactly are these "careers" young women are readying themselves for? Who does it profit? What can I learn from a professor in a class-room that I cannot teach myself? What can I learn from a book bought in a community-college bookstore, at ten times the price, that I cannot learn from a book, chosen by MYSELF, from a book distributor of my own choosing, read on my own terms?
What can I learn about finances in a college atmosphere that I cannot learn by taking over the grocery budget for my family? What can I learn from a college course in nutrition that I cannot learn from a good nutritional cookbook?
(steps down off soap-box; puts soap-box back in storage shed)
Now. College definitely has it's place and purpose. I'm not saying that it's inherrantly evil... exactly. But it is touted as FUNDAMENTAL to "good society." And that is plain wrong. It isn't fundamental. It is a privelege. It isn't necessary. It is a choice.
I think that if a person has saved up all their pennies and wishes to be a doctor... well then the place to go is college. If you want something you can't get without a SPECIFIC degree, then you should go to college and acquire that degree and go out and get it. But this whole modern belief that any ol' person who has no idea what they want, well they all need to go to college, college is the next step, college is the only way to be somebody... that's bogus.
I actually didn't start this with a rant about college in mind... this has really become a ramble.
I want to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman. I think I can do that from my position at home, under my father's authority, without "higher education" - but not without educating myself in the ways of God or in the ways that God would have me educate myself.
Monday, August 2, 2010
She Rises Also While It Is Still Night, And Gives Food To Her Household...
The "Proverbs 31 Woman" is my role-model.
I want to be like her. That means I must be responsible for what my family eats.
Recently, by chance, I read an article by Mike Pearl on their "No Greater Joy" website and somewhere along the way a woman posted a comment about eating meat. She had heard about the Seventh-Day Adventists belief concerning eating meat and was interested in Vegetarianism.
Mike's response to her was harsh, adament, and very strongly opposed from a Biblical stand-point. Among the points he made, he presented the "new" (to me) idea that, just like any other way of thinking, the world has also infiltrated and greatly influenced nutrition "doctrine."
I had been wondering how much I agreed with "modern nutrition" as regards whether fat is healthy or not, anyway, and so I decided I really needed to look into the matter thoroughly. Not just fat, but Nutrition as a whole.
I was visiting my Grandparents last weekend and my grandma voiced an interest in "going Vegan." This added ample fuel to my already-lit fire and when she went to Barnes and Noble in quest of a Vegan book, I determined to find a book on Nutrition that was "different" from what the media proclaims "healthy."
I succeeded. I found a cookbook titled, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. Fairly flying in the face of the FDA, government, and medical industries at once, Sally puts forth the terrifying truth that "nobody" is telling the public the truth when it comes to nutrition.
Research showing that saturated fats cause heart disease are false. Not only do Saturated fats NOT cause heart disease, but a diet lacking in saturated fats is PROVEN to cause not only heart problems, but a plethera of disease and eventual fatality.
The idea that vegetable oils are healthier than naturally solid animal and vegetable fats, is merely the product of an industry designed with one purpose: to make money. Vegetable and seed oils, not because of their oil properties, but through the processes that their oils are obtained are not only unhealthy; they are lethal. The process required to extrapolate the oil of seeds and most vegetables not only turns the oil rancid, but actually involves ADDING LETHAL TOXINS.
Hearing all of this "heretical" information was certainly a shock to me. It has entirely changed my perspective of nutrition and healthy diet. But making changes, especially radical ones, is a very hard thing. It's a slow process. I aim to eventually eat only organic foods; raw (unpasteurized) dairy products; organically fed and free-range meat and chickens' eggs; and only natural sweeteners.
If anyone is wanting to look into truthfully healthy nutrition, I highly recommend the book, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. I also recommend visiting the website, westonprice.org.
I want to be like her. That means I must be responsible for what my family eats.
Recently, by chance, I read an article by Mike Pearl on their "No Greater Joy" website and somewhere along the way a woman posted a comment about eating meat. She had heard about the Seventh-Day Adventists belief concerning eating meat and was interested in Vegetarianism.
Mike's response to her was harsh, adament, and very strongly opposed from a Biblical stand-point. Among the points he made, he presented the "new" (to me) idea that, just like any other way of thinking, the world has also infiltrated and greatly influenced nutrition "doctrine."
I had been wondering how much I agreed with "modern nutrition" as regards whether fat is healthy or not, anyway, and so I decided I really needed to look into the matter thoroughly. Not just fat, but Nutrition as a whole.
I was visiting my Grandparents last weekend and my grandma voiced an interest in "going Vegan." This added ample fuel to my already-lit fire and when she went to Barnes and Noble in quest of a Vegan book, I determined to find a book on Nutrition that was "different" from what the media proclaims "healthy."
I succeeded. I found a cookbook titled, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. Fairly flying in the face of the FDA, government, and medical industries at once, Sally puts forth the terrifying truth that "nobody" is telling the public the truth when it comes to nutrition.
Research showing that saturated fats cause heart disease are false. Not only do Saturated fats NOT cause heart disease, but a diet lacking in saturated fats is PROVEN to cause not only heart problems, but a plethera of disease and eventual fatality.
The idea that vegetable oils are healthier than naturally solid animal and vegetable fats, is merely the product of an industry designed with one purpose: to make money. Vegetable and seed oils, not because of their oil properties, but through the processes that their oils are obtained are not only unhealthy; they are lethal. The process required to extrapolate the oil of seeds and most vegetables not only turns the oil rancid, but actually involves ADDING LETHAL TOXINS.
Hearing all of this "heretical" information was certainly a shock to me. It has entirely changed my perspective of nutrition and healthy diet. But making changes, especially radical ones, is a very hard thing. It's a slow process. I aim to eventually eat only organic foods; raw (unpasteurized) dairy products; organically fed and free-range meat and chickens' eggs; and only natural sweeteners.
If anyone is wanting to look into truthfully healthy nutrition, I highly recommend the book, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. I also recommend visiting the website, westonprice.org.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Way That Seems Right To Man
People want to feel needed.
I have never met anybody that did not desire to be needed by someone else. I am not sure why this is... I don't know if it's because God looked at Adam and found that it wasn't good for him to be alone... Or if we're in some way wanting to fill the role of Holy Spirit...
Anyway, whether right or wrong, whether people need me or I need people, I DO know that people need God. It's a desperate need that cannot be replaced by any other relationship. It's un-solvable except through God Himself. We cannot take the place of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside someone's soul.
I DO know that we're called to be in relationships with other people. Not for our own satisfaction, but in order to obey God by loving the person unconditionally. Loving them the way Christ loves us.
I'm not talking JUST about husband/wife relationships. I have nothing of any value to offer to someone about that type of relationship, having never been in one myself. I don't pretend to imagine I can offer council or advice to a person in that sort of relationship that would be of any worth.
I can see what God says and translate it to the best of my ability. God tells us to love people, and to submit to Him. In Philippians Paul says that we are to look, "not only to our own needs, but to the needs of others" and to "esteem others as better than ourselves..."
I don't think we should try to "make people need us" I think we are to selflessly love them, pointing them to Christ and His insurmountable love. I don't really think people need people. They need God. They need us to be an expression of God's love. I don't really need people. I need God's love in my life.
I don't mean that I don't want people to have relationships with. I think life would be meaningless without other people. Here I'm confusing myself... When I say "I don't need people" that's not entirely true. We do need people... just not in the way we THINK we need people.
We need people to be accountable to, we need people to fellowship with, in order to grow and mature in Christ. But that's not how we feel. That overwhelming feeling of "needing someone" is our soul crying out for the Holy Spirt of God. In fact, the times we seem to NOT want people around, when we try to draw away and hide, that's when we actually NEED people. We need them to draw us closer to God.
Our need of people is just part of our bigger need of God.
I have never met anybody that did not desire to be needed by someone else. I am not sure why this is... I don't know if it's because God looked at Adam and found that it wasn't good for him to be alone... Or if we're in some way wanting to fill the role of Holy Spirit...
Anyway, whether right or wrong, whether people need me or I need people, I DO know that people need God. It's a desperate need that cannot be replaced by any other relationship. It's un-solvable except through God Himself. We cannot take the place of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside someone's soul.
I DO know that we're called to be in relationships with other people. Not for our own satisfaction, but in order to obey God by loving the person unconditionally. Loving them the way Christ loves us.
I'm not talking JUST about husband/wife relationships. I have nothing of any value to offer to someone about that type of relationship, having never been in one myself. I don't pretend to imagine I can offer council or advice to a person in that sort of relationship that would be of any worth.
I can see what God says and translate it to the best of my ability. God tells us to love people, and to submit to Him. In Philippians Paul says that we are to look, "not only to our own needs, but to the needs of others" and to "esteem others as better than ourselves..."
I don't think we should try to "make people need us" I think we are to selflessly love them, pointing them to Christ and His insurmountable love. I don't really think people need people. They need God. They need us to be an expression of God's love. I don't really need people. I need God's love in my life.
I don't mean that I don't want people to have relationships with. I think life would be meaningless without other people. Here I'm confusing myself... When I say "I don't need people" that's not entirely true. We do need people... just not in the way we THINK we need people.
We need people to be accountable to, we need people to fellowship with, in order to grow and mature in Christ. But that's not how we feel. That overwhelming feeling of "needing someone" is our soul crying out for the Holy Spirt of God. In fact, the times we seem to NOT want people around, when we try to draw away and hide, that's when we actually NEED people. We need them to draw us closer to God.
Our need of people is just part of our bigger need of God.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
What a Man Can Do and What a Man Can't Do...
Those famous words of Captain Jack Sparrow come to my mind as I wrestle with some questions of my own.
See... William Turner had a loathing disgust of pirates, a complete intollerance. He couldn't bare to face the possibility that perhaps his own father, his flesh and blood, had been a pirate, that he, William Turner, had Pirate blood running in his veins. Basically, Jack Sparrow told him he could either accept it, or he could not. But it didn't change the facts and that he'd one day have to face them.
The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not upon thy own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall make thy paths straight."
We have two options: Trust in the Lord, or don't trust in the Lord. The choice is ours. But whatever we decide to do, doesn't change the facts. The Lord God above knows the beginning and the end, what is best for us and what will cause destruction. He asks us to put our trust in Him so that in the end, we will be safe with Him for all eternity. The alternative to that is a life in damnation, away from Him: Hell.
Whether we decide to trust in Him or not, doesn't change the fact that He is still Lord High God. It only changes our fate in eternity.
Even as Christians who have made the choice to be saved, which implies a trust in the Lord, we still have to make this decision throughout our Christain lives. We'll keep coming to a point where God is telling us something maybe we don't want to hear and, again, we must decide, "Can I trust God? Or can I not?"
Now, we don't ever have to make this decision with no information. God is a faithful God and has been such througout all the ages. If we cannot look over our past and see His faithfulness to us, over and over again, well then we can look in the Bible, look at the history books, look at the first settlers in America, the Revolutionary war... the list goes on.
We have the tools to make an informed decision. But the question is not complicated. Will I trust God, or will I not?
See... William Turner had a loathing disgust of pirates, a complete intollerance. He couldn't bare to face the possibility that perhaps his own father, his flesh and blood, had been a pirate, that he, William Turner, had Pirate blood running in his veins. Basically, Jack Sparrow told him he could either accept it, or he could not. But it didn't change the facts and that he'd one day have to face them.
The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not upon thy own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall make thy paths straight."
We have two options: Trust in the Lord, or don't trust in the Lord. The choice is ours. But whatever we decide to do, doesn't change the facts. The Lord God above knows the beginning and the end, what is best for us and what will cause destruction. He asks us to put our trust in Him so that in the end, we will be safe with Him for all eternity. The alternative to that is a life in damnation, away from Him: Hell.
Whether we decide to trust in Him or not, doesn't change the fact that He is still Lord High God. It only changes our fate in eternity.
Even as Christians who have made the choice to be saved, which implies a trust in the Lord, we still have to make this decision throughout our Christain lives. We'll keep coming to a point where God is telling us something maybe we don't want to hear and, again, we must decide, "Can I trust God? Or can I not?"
Now, we don't ever have to make this decision with no information. God is a faithful God and has been such througout all the ages. If we cannot look over our past and see His faithfulness to us, over and over again, well then we can look in the Bible, look at the history books, look at the first settlers in America, the Revolutionary war... the list goes on.
We have the tools to make an informed decision. But the question is not complicated. Will I trust God, or will I not?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Bringing Into Captivity...
Another great verse I've known all my life!
"Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and brining into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (IICorinthians 10:5)
What struck me as new with this verse was the phrase, "Casting down imaginations... that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God..."
We're supposed to bring our thought-life into captivity for God. Our imaginations, even, are supposed to bring glory to God! If they don't we must cast them where they belong, away from us.
I never thought about my imagination being a sinful tool of Satan before. Of course it makes sense, I just never thought of it in so many words.
We have knowledge of God, we know His character through His dealings with the Israelites in the Old Testament, and through Christ in the New Testament. God created us to bring glory to Him and to honor Him in all we do. If our thoughts are not honoring to Him, eventually everything we say and do will be governed by those thoughts.
I have a very active imagination. But my imagination is only that. It isn't truth or fact, it's IMAGINATIONS. If I'm imagining something that flies in the face of Godly wisdom, why should I let it become an active part of my thoughts, provoking my spirit and physical self to act in sin against Christ?
Brining my thoughts into captivity has always seemed very vague to me. How are you REALLY supposed to control every thought? Well, you can't control every thought you have. But you can shout at it and put it where it belongs. If I have a thought that is wrong, I can scream in my head at it, "YOU ARE NOT OF GOD!!" I can then replace that thought with a Bible verse that IS of God.
I think that's really the key: filling your mind and heart with things of God. If you have fifty verses of TRUTH in your heart, ready at will to quote, think of the arsenal you are carrying against thoughts that aren't of God! When what I put in my mind is mostly God's truth, I find I have fewer thoughts that need to be yelled at.
Paul's eptistle to the Philippians is a great blue-print for controlling thoughts. Paul lays out what are Godly things to think about. If that is the "screen" we use to examine every thought... well, I know I'll be casting aside a LOT of random thoughts that seem to just fly into my head.
Back to my imagination. Some thoughts are more than thoughts... the thoughts, "I am being abused, I shouldn't have to put up with this!" or "This person is a horrible person and I shouldn't have to deal with them anymore!" are more than just random thoughts that flew in unwilled. Those are my imagination telling me something that isn't true. If I act upon them, I am acting on an imagination exalting itself as higher than God.
God tells me that His creation, in it's entirety, is precious to Him. That means that the person I find intollerable is someone He loves and cherishes. If He loves and cherishes them, that means I'm supposed to as well. If I act on my imagination and treat them as contemptable, then I'm sinning. I'm allowing my thoughts to exalt themselves over the knowledge of God.
Not all imaginations are that easy to spot as being against God. That is why I must always be on my guard. If I allow even the smallest thought that isn't Godly into my imaginations, or my thought-life, eventually they will grow and produce fruit. Fruit that is not godly.
It's much easier to nip somthing in the bud rather than to let it grow into a great big bush that needs to be uprooted. The more control I give my imagination, the more likely I am to let an ungodly thought take hold of me and guide me, taking root in my mind and governing the rest of my thoughts, and eventually my words and actions.
I should govern myself not by my imagination, but by the Truth I replace my own thoughts or beliefs with.
"Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and brining into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (IICorinthians 10:5)
What struck me as new with this verse was the phrase, "Casting down imaginations... that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God..."
We're supposed to bring our thought-life into captivity for God. Our imaginations, even, are supposed to bring glory to God! If they don't we must cast them where they belong, away from us.
I never thought about my imagination being a sinful tool of Satan before. Of course it makes sense, I just never thought of it in so many words.
We have knowledge of God, we know His character through His dealings with the Israelites in the Old Testament, and through Christ in the New Testament. God created us to bring glory to Him and to honor Him in all we do. If our thoughts are not honoring to Him, eventually everything we say and do will be governed by those thoughts.
I have a very active imagination. But my imagination is only that. It isn't truth or fact, it's IMAGINATIONS. If I'm imagining something that flies in the face of Godly wisdom, why should I let it become an active part of my thoughts, provoking my spirit and physical self to act in sin against Christ?
Brining my thoughts into captivity has always seemed very vague to me. How are you REALLY supposed to control every thought? Well, you can't control every thought you have. But you can shout at it and put it where it belongs. If I have a thought that is wrong, I can scream in my head at it, "YOU ARE NOT OF GOD!!" I can then replace that thought with a Bible verse that IS of God.
I think that's really the key: filling your mind and heart with things of God. If you have fifty verses of TRUTH in your heart, ready at will to quote, think of the arsenal you are carrying against thoughts that aren't of God! When what I put in my mind is mostly God's truth, I find I have fewer thoughts that need to be yelled at.
Paul's eptistle to the Philippians is a great blue-print for controlling thoughts. Paul lays out what are Godly things to think about. If that is the "screen" we use to examine every thought... well, I know I'll be casting aside a LOT of random thoughts that seem to just fly into my head.
Back to my imagination. Some thoughts are more than thoughts... the thoughts, "I am being abused, I shouldn't have to put up with this!" or "This person is a horrible person and I shouldn't have to deal with them anymore!" are more than just random thoughts that flew in unwilled. Those are my imagination telling me something that isn't true. If I act upon them, I am acting on an imagination exalting itself as higher than God.
God tells me that His creation, in it's entirety, is precious to Him. That means that the person I find intollerable is someone He loves and cherishes. If He loves and cherishes them, that means I'm supposed to as well. If I act on my imagination and treat them as contemptable, then I'm sinning. I'm allowing my thoughts to exalt themselves over the knowledge of God.
Not all imaginations are that easy to spot as being against God. That is why I must always be on my guard. If I allow even the smallest thought that isn't Godly into my imaginations, or my thought-life, eventually they will grow and produce fruit. Fruit that is not godly.
It's much easier to nip somthing in the bud rather than to let it grow into a great big bush that needs to be uprooted. The more control I give my imagination, the more likely I am to let an ungodly thought take hold of me and guide me, taking root in my mind and governing the rest of my thoughts, and eventually my words and actions.
I should govern myself not by my imagination, but by the Truth I replace my own thoughts or beliefs with.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
But Be Ye Transformed By The Renewing Of Your Mind
I came across an amazing verse that I've always known today. "I beseech you therefore bretheren, by God's mercies, present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:1-2)
Like I mentioned, this verse is not new to me; I've heard it as long as I've been a church-goer - nearly 24 years. But today the phrase, "be ye transformed by the renewing of youm mind" really captivated me. Am I a transformed person?
I know that my soul has been transformed, that I am saved and will go to heaven when I die. But is the outside of me, the personality that I share with others around me, the essence of Lela, a transformed being?
Can people look at me and know that there is something different about me? Or do I just look and act and speak like any un-born-again heathen?
The thought that I may appear no different from non-believers really bothers me. The Bible clearly says that people should look at a Christian and immediately see a difference in their character, in their essence.
There is a song, "And they'll know we are Christians by our love." Is that what transformation is? Am I a loving person?
It's really easy to love the people who are close to me. The people I know. The people who are like me. But do I exude the love of Christ, making Christ's love available and accessable, through me, to anyone and everyone who comes into contact with me?
I think that should be my goal.
Like I mentioned, this verse is not new to me; I've heard it as long as I've been a church-goer - nearly 24 years. But today the phrase, "be ye transformed by the renewing of youm mind" really captivated me. Am I a transformed person?
I know that my soul has been transformed, that I am saved and will go to heaven when I die. But is the outside of me, the personality that I share with others around me, the essence of Lela, a transformed being?
Can people look at me and know that there is something different about me? Or do I just look and act and speak like any un-born-again heathen?
The thought that I may appear no different from non-believers really bothers me. The Bible clearly says that people should look at a Christian and immediately see a difference in their character, in their essence.
There is a song, "And they'll know we are Christians by our love." Is that what transformation is? Am I a loving person?
It's really easy to love the people who are close to me. The people I know. The people who are like me. But do I exude the love of Christ, making Christ's love available and accessable, through me, to anyone and everyone who comes into contact with me?
I think that should be my goal.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Well, yesterday I made a big step (for me) by closing out my facebook and myspace accounts... I only wish I'd thought to transfer over all my written blogs on myspace before I closed the account... Ah well. Big steps are often very similar to ripping a band-aid off and if it's done all at once without giving yourself too much time to think about it, sometimes it's a lot easier to follow through with it.
I guess I should explain a little about my decision. I have a lot of freinds, of both sexes. I used to believe that having friends of the opposite sex was natural, even a good thing. While I don't believe that having acquaintences of the opposite sex can even be avoided, my thoughts towards having/maintaining friendships with them have altered. I still don't believe it's exactly inherrantly EVIL to have friendships with boys, but I think it opens the door to a whole bunch of things better avoided.
What really turned the tide for me was when I was reading a book by Debi Pearl with a friend, titled, "Preparing to be a Helpmeet." One of the verses she quotes several times, rather as a theme, throughout the book, is that one from Proverbs 31, "...She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." As Debi talked about what a godly girl looks like as she's preparing to be a good wife to a husband one day, I couldn't help but think about things in my life that might not make me such a good candidate for the type of husband I want to marry.
I started thinking about my future husband and what I'd want for my wife if I were him. I thought about how I'd want my husband to interact with other women. I guess God really hit me on the head with my "friendships" with other guys. I had been pondering the question even before reading the book, but just felt like there was nothing I could do about it. How can you tell someone who you've been treating as a good friend for a long time, "sorry, I just can't be friends with you anymore, see you never!"???
Well if you have a personality like mine, you almost can't. So I just felt stuck. I almost felt like I'd have to settle for less in a husband so that he would be fine with all my "friend" relationships. As I was reading the book, it just kept coming back to me that I didn't want to have to settle. But how could I possibly fix my situation? I finally decided that I HAD to do SOMETHING.
All I could think about was my facebook account. How easy it made private conversations with just anyone who came along. I didn't want to go to each and every individual and tell them pointblank goodbye. However, closing out my account was fairly easy. It was universal - I wasn't singling anyone out.
Why is having friendships with guys such a big deal to me? Think about any guy you've ever liked. How did it feel knowing that he had tons of friends that happened to be women? It's even worse for women, I think, to have friends with guys because women are programmed by God to be responders. Think about Eve, in the garden. It wasn't Adam who bought the snake's charm and grabbed the apple. It was tender-hearted, compulsive Eve. We girls are all a lot like her. Generally, we have a more understanding, trusting nature.
While this doesn't make it evil to be freinds with a guy, it makes it dangerous territory. We tend to give our hearts away long before men do. We may not even realize that's what we're doing. But if we want a guy who belongs to nobody but us, we must likewise belong to nobody but him. Maintaining friendships with guys before and after marrying my husband will probably make him feel like he's just a piece of my life, fitting in with all the other pieces that are just as, or more, important than him.
God says that my husband will be my head. That's a very important thing to understand. It doesn't mean I'm going to marry some tyrant who will lord over me all the days of our lives together. It means that I will need to submit to him as the leader of our family, it means that I should defer my absolute will to his, knowing that he is following God and leading our family toward godliness.
And if I'm supposed to do good and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, that means before marriage. It means I should act as though I have a husband right now. In fact, I do. I will almost certainly get married some day. That means that I have a husband right now! I'm just not married to him yet. But that doesn't mean I can't act just as circumspectly now as if he were courting me.
I don't want there to be anything in my life to make my future husband wary of committing to me. I don't want ANYTHING to cause him to wonder if I'm really his or not. I want my husband to admire my life, previously and presently. I don't want anything to make him think I'm not circumspect. I don't want him to think I'm a worldly girl who comports herself in such a way as to make herself attractive, or seem available, to ungodly men.
I guess I should explain a little about my decision. I have a lot of freinds, of both sexes. I used to believe that having friends of the opposite sex was natural, even a good thing. While I don't believe that having acquaintences of the opposite sex can even be avoided, my thoughts towards having/maintaining friendships with them have altered. I still don't believe it's exactly inherrantly EVIL to have friendships with boys, but I think it opens the door to a whole bunch of things better avoided.
What really turned the tide for me was when I was reading a book by Debi Pearl with a friend, titled, "Preparing to be a Helpmeet." One of the verses she quotes several times, rather as a theme, throughout the book, is that one from Proverbs 31, "...She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." As Debi talked about what a godly girl looks like as she's preparing to be a good wife to a husband one day, I couldn't help but think about things in my life that might not make me such a good candidate for the type of husband I want to marry.
I started thinking about my future husband and what I'd want for my wife if I were him. I thought about how I'd want my husband to interact with other women. I guess God really hit me on the head with my "friendships" with other guys. I had been pondering the question even before reading the book, but just felt like there was nothing I could do about it. How can you tell someone who you've been treating as a good friend for a long time, "sorry, I just can't be friends with you anymore, see you never!"???
Well if you have a personality like mine, you almost can't. So I just felt stuck. I almost felt like I'd have to settle for less in a husband so that he would be fine with all my "friend" relationships. As I was reading the book, it just kept coming back to me that I didn't want to have to settle. But how could I possibly fix my situation? I finally decided that I HAD to do SOMETHING.
All I could think about was my facebook account. How easy it made private conversations with just anyone who came along. I didn't want to go to each and every individual and tell them pointblank goodbye. However, closing out my account was fairly easy. It was universal - I wasn't singling anyone out.
Why is having friendships with guys such a big deal to me? Think about any guy you've ever liked. How did it feel knowing that he had tons of friends that happened to be women? It's even worse for women, I think, to have friends with guys because women are programmed by God to be responders. Think about Eve, in the garden. It wasn't Adam who bought the snake's charm and grabbed the apple. It was tender-hearted, compulsive Eve. We girls are all a lot like her. Generally, we have a more understanding, trusting nature.
While this doesn't make it evil to be freinds with a guy, it makes it dangerous territory. We tend to give our hearts away long before men do. We may not even realize that's what we're doing. But if we want a guy who belongs to nobody but us, we must likewise belong to nobody but him. Maintaining friendships with guys before and after marrying my husband will probably make him feel like he's just a piece of my life, fitting in with all the other pieces that are just as, or more, important than him.
God says that my husband will be my head. That's a very important thing to understand. It doesn't mean I'm going to marry some tyrant who will lord over me all the days of our lives together. It means that I will need to submit to him as the leader of our family, it means that I should defer my absolute will to his, knowing that he is following God and leading our family toward godliness.
And if I'm supposed to do good and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, that means before marriage. It means I should act as though I have a husband right now. In fact, I do. I will almost certainly get married some day. That means that I have a husband right now! I'm just not married to him yet. But that doesn't mean I can't act just as circumspectly now as if he were courting me.
I don't want there to be anything in my life to make my future husband wary of committing to me. I don't want ANYTHING to cause him to wonder if I'm really his or not. I want my husband to admire my life, previously and presently. I don't want anything to make him think I'm not circumspect. I don't want him to think I'm a worldly girl who comports herself in such a way as to make herself attractive, or seem available, to ungodly men.
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