A Word (or four) On Respect

What is respect? Is it something just for certain people, like husbands and fathers?

I don't think so. I think it's for everyone. I think, especially, for anyone you have any sort of "relationship" with.

What does respect look like? It seems like some untangible state of mind that is only attainable when you feel a certain way.
I don't believe that's what it is. I believe it's a choice and a concious decision to respect someone.

Most people think that if they have friendships and show their friends how important they are in their lives that that is respect. But is it respect to cling to someone and not listen to what they say? To desperately hold onto to something you maybe think you're loosing without choosing to do what your friend asks of you?

I think respect equals doing what someone needs regardless of how you feel. Trusting them enough to believe what they tell you. Doing what they ask when it makes you feel devastated to do it.

I think it also means being the person, sometimes, who asks the thing that is devastating of the other - being willing to risk loosing the relationship in order to obey God's Word. After all, if your relationship with the person is disobedient to God, then I guarantee you, it's not a healthy relationship for either party to be involved in.

Respect does not equal doing what feels good. Respect does not equal making someone happy. It means obeying God and it equals deferring your preference to God's will and the other person. Respect means valuing a person. It means valuing what they need and what will benefit them before God. It means acting circumspectly in order benifit the person by obeying God and helping them to, by your actions. It means not leading them into sin because it's something that feels good to you.

It means sacrificing yourself on the alter of God's Word and will - both His will for you, and also for the other person. It means being willing to do what feels terrible to you if it's what you believe God is asking for the sake of the other person.

It doesn NOT (this is a rant, now) equal disregarding what your friend tells you and continuing to chase after whatever you want. It does NOT equal going to a person for advice, pretending to agree, and then going out and doing the opposite while pretending to agree with the advice-giver. It does NOT equal ignoring what someone is asking of you. It DOES equal listening, deference, submission to God and God's leading both in your life and your freind's life.

Sometimes...

Sometimes everything is perfect.

It takes my breath away and I can just see the strokes of God's brush on the canvas He's named "Lela." It's amazing, the clarity, the vision... the magnificent beauty and purpose just stand out and speak to me of the author and finisher of my faith. I'm assured that my life is designed with this Ultra Significance and grand view in mind, just for me! I set forth to achieve the goal given me, I have confidence in The One who sends me forth. I round each corner expecting to complete my task, energy exuding from my being and I can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Sometimes everything is foggy.

I still feel this hazy sense of purpose, but somehow I've lost the clarity. I know the goal, but all of a sudden I can't seem to find the way to get there. The pathway I was so sure about seems to be all but disappearing right before my feet. Something within me starts hesitating and everything seems like a struggle. I fight my way forward, now unsure that I'm aiming the proper direction. I'm hoping, as I round each new corner, to suddenly see the light that once shone so clear, to feel the hand of God I felt just moments before and was so certain I was following truly.

Sometimes everything grows dim.

All at once, in the middle of the fog, the lights go out. I'm left all alone and bewildered in the middle of the woods. I've turned countless corners and have no idea where I am. There isn't the faintest glimmer of light or the feeling of the presence of God's direction or hand. What seemed like the surest route now has me lost and helpless and desperately afraid. I long to turn and run, but there is no way I can find my way back in the darkness and fog.

Sometimes I come to the end of myself.

I fling myself down on the carpet of the wood's floor and cry out in utter despair. I cry out to God to rescue me, to save me from the black pit I'm sure I've stumbled into. Why won't He stretch out His hand and save me? Why won't He pluck me out of this dank, dark hole? Why won't He deliver me from the prison He's led me into??!!

Sometimes the morning comes.

I wake up on the ground in the most beautiful wooded sanctuary I've ever seen. Radiant light filters in through the trees that stand, tall and protecting, all around me. The pathway I'd been traveling now lies beneath me, stretching along through the woods and out a ways, going uphill, to the top of a mountain. The mountain-top is a mile or two away, but I can see the top of it, my destination, my focal point - the purpose toward which I've been persevering and struggling toward.

Sometimes I must plow on.

I get up and start walking. I make it out of the woods. My fright has winded me and I'm still a bit down from becoming so emotionally driven. My stamina is low, and I find I must stop to take breaks quite freaquently. But seeing the mountain-top from back in the woods has my courage up and my attitude is much more positive. I know God is there, has been there the whole time. He's just waiting for me to obey Him.

Sometimes I reach the top.

I finally make it to the top of the mountain. I can look out all around me and see for miles and miles. I can see the pathway, down below, that I've been traveling, into the woods, and out of the woods and up to where I'm perched. God feels right beside me and there is a bright shining ray of light in my very soul. I am completely rejuvinated and feel like I can do anything. The world is mine for the taking and I know I can accomplish whatever will be asked of me next.

Sometimes I must wait.

While on the mountain I feel ambitious to achieve; I know there are more mountains out there to be conqured and I'm anxious to take them on! I keep expecting God's direction to lead me to them, with every breath expecting the call to go! But it doesn't seem to come. Agitatedly I pace back and forth and don't hear the summons I await. Frustrated, I finally sit down on the rock that appears to be positioned carefully to best view the magnificent tableau seen from my vantage point. Then I hear the still, quiet whisper: "My child, rest."

Faith Like A Mustard Seed

Periodically I come to the realization that I have that sort of faith. The faith like a mustard seed. Pretty tiny. But God says that with that faith you can move mountains. That seems amazing to me. Maybe I DON'T have the faith of a mustard seed... maybe it's more like, faith like a microbial organism.

But even so... I stand amazed, time and again, at God's working in my life, through my tiny, helpless little faith. That God can take something that is so limp and useless and cause His wonders to happen in my life nonetheless, is nothing short of miraculous.

My standard modus operandi is 1) To be reading and seeking God's will in my life and trying to live it. 2) Then I come to some crossroad in my life where I can't make whatever it is happen in my life and must wait on the Lord in some way. 3) I Say to myself, "I must trust in God in this matter, only He can solve it." 4) Immediately start fretting and becoming anxious as I battle trying to trust the Lord of All... 5) Stand, astounded, at God's final word in the matter, watching His orchestration in my life as He miraculously causes His will to glorify Himself through my life. 6) Kick myself in the pants for ever having fretted in the first place.

I'd just like to tell everyone who ever reads this blog, that, "My parents are amazing." I don't give them the credit they deserve and I love them very very, extraordinarily, much. They REALLY DO have my best interests at heart, and they love me. I don't know why I find this all so hard to see and/or believe sometimes, but there you have it. Kicking myself, I am.

Delight Yourself In The Lord And He Will Give You The Desires Of Your Heart

It sounds so simple. It seems like God is saying He'll give you what you want most.

It's not as simple as it may appear. Nobody (who goes around touting this verse as a means of getting stuff) talks about the fine-print.

For one thing, there is a lot of waiting involved.
You want something and ask God to give it to you and then you wait - sometimes for a very long time - and one of two things happens. 1) God gives you whatever it is you wanted. 2) He doesn't.

Wait a minute! I thought it said He WOULD give it to you! Does it? No!!!
It's says, "DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. That is a conditional promise. God will give you the desires of your heart, IF you delight yourself in Him.

Okay, so say you are delighted in the Lord and you want something, and you ask it of Him. Again, there is a LOOOOOT of waiting. Again, one of two things will happen. 1) God will give you what you ask for. 2) He'll change the desires of your heart.

Sometimes, in our own understanding, that seems like a cop-out on God's part. But it sooooo isn't. The Bible says the He longs to give us the things we want, just as a parent longs to give their children the things they want. But the truth is: children do NOT always want what is best for them.

God, in His loving grace, understands our hearts and desires, but better and more importantly, what it is we really need. He knows exactly what will happen if we get the things we so desperately want. He perceives the outcome of our wishes being granted. And He wants what's best for us. Not what will give a moment's pleasure, but what will satisfy our souls. What will give us a hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, '"For I know the plans I have for you," sayeth the Lord, "plans to build you up and not to tear you down; to give you a hope and a future."'

Now, I know that He was saying that to His 'chosen people' the Jews. But I really think He meant it for everyone that belongs to Him. This means that He knows the future, He wants us to be happy in the future as well as now. He understands our hearts and what He has planned for each of us individually. He wants to make us happy for the rest of our lives. And He knows how to. We don't.

If we are delighted in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts BECAUSE we want what will glorify Him - what will make us happy for all of eternity.

"To Step Out of My Comfort Zone... Where Jesus Is..."

I love Casting Crowns. Their lyrics are always so right-on.
"Oh what I would to have the kind of strength it takes to step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is..."

Jesus isn't in my comfort zone. He's a few steps ahead, hand out-stretched, beckoning me onward. His voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid... this is for My glory!" Will I listen and believe?

I want to. I make steps toward it every-so-often... but then, sometimes, I let go of His hand and drop back, behind, to my comfort zone.

Now... the term 'comfort zone' can be misleading. It seems to imply a realm of comfort and safety. But in actuality, my comfort zone is usually a toxic, unhealthy waste-land of misery. But it's what I know, and that feels safe to me. How sad is that?

If I just bite back my fear, reach forward and take the hand of Jesus, allowing Him to draw me on into His glory and light, that will be the land of safety, comfort, healing, and joy.

The truth is that I want to be in the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, all the time. It doesn't matter what that means, where that will take me, or where that will take me FROM. It will be Joy, Peace and Glory. I can't imagine how awesome it would be to be surrounded by the peace of knowing I was exactly in the center of God's will ALL THE TIME. Every now and then I find myself there, or nearly there... and it's like breathing fresh, pure air after being stuck in a swamp of toxic waste.

But I never stay there long. I always end up drawing myself backward, into my "comfort zone," out of the grace of God's love and protection and back into my toxic waste dump.

That sounds pretty depressing, I suppose. But I can still see the progress. I go a few paces forward and then busy myself making a swamp to live in. Then God pulls me out and I go forward a few more paces, and then try to make another swamp-dwelling. But His love and faithfulness keeps on pulling me back out, onto solid ground, and further into His glory. His faithfulness goes beyond my weakness. His mercy goes further than my understanding and failings.

He sees me where I am, and loves me all the more. He sees me, not as a grimy swamp-dweller, but, as His precious and glorified child. I thank Him, with everything I have, for everything He is.

An Excellent Wife, Who Can Find?

I have a new motto:

"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (I like the translation that says "rubies" better, they're pretty). The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax, and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vine-yard. She girds herself with strength (I like this version better than "loins," loins seem less feminine), and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excell them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Giver her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
(Proverbs 31:10-31)

"Ambitious" you say? You bet your britches!!
You ask, "But, Lela, you aren't even married yet! You don't even have a potential suitor! Why are you worrying about being an excellent wife at this early time??"

I ask you, did you SEE everything the excellent wife does? Did you SEE how capable and well-learned she is?? I don't think I'll become her in the next TWENTY YEARS, let alone however long it takes before I get married... let alone waiting to start until I DO get married. How imprudent it would be to spurn these wonderful, God-given years of single leisure-time by not "girding myself" and making ready!!

How UN-excellent a wife I would make my poor future husband if I did not start readying myself now; if I did not start "doing him good and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE" NOW!! Besides, do you not suppose I could make my parents an excellent daughter by starting practice up now? How much worth would there be in expediting the skills portrayed in the Excellent Wife for my own family right now!

Ambitious, yes... but of such tremendous worth: far above rubies.

Again you say, "But Lela! Think of yourself! Think of your education! You could be going to school, starting a career, not mooching off your parents income!"

LOOK at that passage of scripture. Just look at what an excellent wife is! She is, by no means, unlearned or uneducated. She by no means is mooching off her husband. She's ENRICHING HIS LIFE TEN-FOLD. I ask you, how much money does a person spend "educating" themselves? Who does that money profit? What exactly are these "careers" young women are readying themselves for? Who does it profit? What can I learn from a professor in a class-room that I cannot teach myself? What can I learn from a book bought in a community-college bookstore, at ten times the price, that I cannot learn from a book, chosen by MYSELF, from a book distributor of my own choosing, read on my own terms?

What can I learn about finances in a college atmosphere that I cannot learn by taking over the grocery budget for my family? What can I learn from a college course in nutrition that I cannot learn from a good nutritional cookbook?

(steps down off soap-box; puts soap-box back in storage shed)

Now. College definitely has it's place and purpose. I'm not saying that it's inherrantly evil... exactly. But it is touted as FUNDAMENTAL to "good society." And that is plain wrong. It isn't fundamental. It is a privelege. It isn't necessary. It is a choice.

I think that if a person has saved up all their pennies and wishes to be a doctor... well then the place to go is college. If you want something you can't get without a SPECIFIC degree, then you should go to college and acquire that degree and go out and get it. But this whole modern belief that any ol' person who has no idea what they want, well they all need to go to college, college is the next step, college is the only way to be somebody... that's bogus.

I actually didn't start this with a rant about college in mind... this has really become a ramble.

I want to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman. I think I can do that from my position at home, under my father's authority, without "higher education" - but not without educating myself in the ways of God or in the ways that God would have me educate myself.

She Rises Also While It Is Still Night, And Gives Food To Her Household...

The "Proverbs 31 Woman" is my role-model.
I want to be like her. That means I must be responsible for what my family eats.

Recently, by chance, I read an article by Mike Pearl on their "No Greater Joy" website and somewhere along the way a woman posted a comment about eating meat. She had heard about the Seventh-Day Adventists belief concerning eating meat and was interested in Vegetarianism.

Mike's response to her was harsh, adament, and very strongly opposed from a Biblical stand-point. Among the points he made, he presented the "new" (to me) idea that, just like any other way of thinking, the world has also infiltrated and greatly influenced nutrition "doctrine."

I had been wondering how much I agreed with "modern nutrition" as regards whether fat is healthy or not, anyway, and so I decided I really needed to look into the matter thoroughly. Not just fat, but Nutrition as a whole.

I was visiting my Grandparents last weekend and my grandma voiced an interest in "going Vegan." This added ample fuel to my already-lit fire and when she went to Barnes and Noble in quest of a Vegan book, I determined to find a book on Nutrition that was "different" from what the media proclaims "healthy."

I succeeded. I found a cookbook titled, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. Fairly flying in the face of the FDA, government, and medical industries at once, Sally puts forth the terrifying truth that "nobody" is telling the public the truth when it comes to nutrition.

Research showing that saturated fats cause heart disease are false. Not only do Saturated fats NOT cause heart disease, but a diet lacking in saturated fats is PROVEN to cause not only heart problems, but a plethera of disease and eventual fatality.

The idea that vegetable oils are healthier than naturally solid animal and vegetable fats, is merely the product of an industry designed with one purpose: to make money. Vegetable and seed oils, not because of their oil properties, but through the processes that their oils are obtained are not only unhealthy; they are lethal. The process required to extrapolate the oil of seeds and most vegetables not only turns the oil rancid, but actually involves ADDING LETHAL TOXINS.

Hearing all of this "heretical" information was certainly a shock to me. It has entirely changed my perspective of nutrition and healthy diet. But making changes, especially radical ones, is a very hard thing. It's a slow process. I aim to eventually eat only organic foods; raw (unpasteurized) dairy products; organically fed and free-range meat and chickens' eggs; and only natural sweeteners.

If anyone is wanting to look into truthfully healthy nutrition, I highly recommend the book, "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. I also recommend visiting the website, westonprice.org.