"Come, Though, Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy praise. Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise! Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above! Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it, mount of Thy redeeming love!
Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I'm come. And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home. Jesus called me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood!
Oh, to grace, how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be. Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it - prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, oh, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above!"
This hymn has been floating through my mind lately...
I am in the process of establishing a new blog on our church's website and this song seems to be the theme my heart keeps coming back to when I think about what I want to base my blog on.
I have decided to call my blog, "My Ebenezer," because I want my theme to be, "Praise God!!!" He has done so much for me... the song says it all, really, but it's not just WORDS... it's my heart-song.
It's like someone looked into my heart and wrote about it soooo long ago, maybe 100 years ago, even, I can't remember the date of the authorship of the hymn... I suppose every Christian feels this in their hearts, at some point, or multiple points, or from the point of salvation.
For me, I feel it at various points. I want to feel it all the time, and I will say that as I grow in my walk with the Lord I do feel it more and more. It's amazing to me, the peace that God has, that He wants me to rest in, secure and safe from the world's vices and harms.
What a God!
Yes, I am constrained to be a debtor... but nothing I can do can ever add up to the sum of the cross, and He doesn't want me to try! He wants my heart, and He gives me the power to lay it at His feet when I cannot myself. His grace is endless and grows bigger with every breath I take...
I want to stand on the highest mountain and SHOUT out what the Lord has done for me, but at the same time it blows my mind and makes me smaller than a grain of sand... and he SEES ME!!!! Even me!!! Little ol' helpless, tiny, insignificant me... and loves me with a love beyond my comprehension.
What a God...
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
A New Year...
Ah, well. It is the beginning of a New Year. Much has changed in my life since this time last year. I am no longer living in Redmond.
I am very thankful to be back with my parents, and back in Elkton with my church family here. But I also miss the Redmond home fellowship. I miss Erin Mazur, soooo much. She is like a sister to me, especially after living with her for nearly nine months.
That's an interesting amount of time... I have not been telling people the exact amount of time because I didn't want anyone to get a wrong idea. I was not pregnant, that is NOT the reason I was in Redmond, as everyone in Redmond will attest to! No, it just worked out that way.
During my time in Redmond God showed me a lot of things, about myself and life and interacting with people, and character... lots of things. Since I've been back home He has continued to mold and shape me and I have been slowly continuing the process of sluffing off my old self and changing into someone more beautiful, someone more like Christ.
I cannot express my love for God, for His unchanging faithfulness. I am so thankful that He never gives up! He will continue to change me and perfect me until the Day of Christ!
He will not be fickle, not even like a best friend who is human. He's a best friend who is divinely perfect!
Since I've been home I have made some changes in my approach to God. I have never been very consistent with Bible-reading or praying. I have been very on-again-off-again in that department. I'm not saying that's changed, but it's gotten better. Or at least my on-again period seems to be getting longer, which is a good thing!
I have started journaling prayers and Bible verses. This has been such a useful tool. Not only does it help me look back and remember things I've prayed for and see how/if God has answered my prayers, but it has changed the tone of my prayers. When I write out what I say to God, I'm careful about what I say and how I say it... it's not about it being a more beautiful prayer, but somehow it is by my attitude. When I write to God, it's more thought-out, like a letter. I actually say the things I want to say and don't say things I don't need or want to say. It's like thinking before you speak... novel concept, yes?! For me, yes!
I have renewed some friendships since my return to Elkton. I will not say that they are friendships that SHOULD have been renewed, but because my attitude has changed, or at least shifted, they can now work in a way that does not interfere with my submission to Christ. And because my attitude has changed, I can now SEE when or if they are becoming a problem.
I have never had so much control before, but at the same time, it's not ME in control, it's me allowing God to be! It's a huge relief!
This is all positive, and the list continues though I cannot think of them all at the moment. But I would also like to share the down-side, or at least some of it. It is so hard for me to live with my father, a highly negative person.
I have become much better about keeping myself unto myself... or not allowing other people's attitudes to influence my own. I used to be pretty much controlled by whatever everyone else in the room was feeling. I have not completely changed, though. So, it's still a downer for me, though I have gotten much better about keeping my joy in the Lord instead of my happiness in others.
It's also somewhat of a downer just living here, for several reasons. When I live with my parents, I have set a routine over the years of doing the bare minimum and becoming content to stay there and be lazy. I fall into a pattern of just squeaking by and staying home on the couch on my behind for as much of the day as I can manage to do.
Consequently, it's very easy for me to fall into depressions, bad attitudes, general slothfulness. It's fairly disgusting. I really want to change that, but once you're there it's such a huge up-hill battle!
For any of you reading this, whether you know me or not or want to say anything to me directly or not (I will gladly take constructive criticism, encouragement, whatever you want to offer!) I entreat you to please pray for me! Please pray that I will obey the Lord and want to do the right thing in this area! Pray the Lord gives my heart the right attitude when I do not seek that for myself and help me to be the daughter to my parents, and friend to those around me or far away who count on me, that they need and which God has planned for me to be!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I am very thankful to be back with my parents, and back in Elkton with my church family here. But I also miss the Redmond home fellowship. I miss Erin Mazur, soooo much. She is like a sister to me, especially after living with her for nearly nine months.
That's an interesting amount of time... I have not been telling people the exact amount of time because I didn't want anyone to get a wrong idea. I was not pregnant, that is NOT the reason I was in Redmond, as everyone in Redmond will attest to! No, it just worked out that way.
During my time in Redmond God showed me a lot of things, about myself and life and interacting with people, and character... lots of things. Since I've been back home He has continued to mold and shape me and I have been slowly continuing the process of sluffing off my old self and changing into someone more beautiful, someone more like Christ.
I cannot express my love for God, for His unchanging faithfulness. I am so thankful that He never gives up! He will continue to change me and perfect me until the Day of Christ!
He will not be fickle, not even like a best friend who is human. He's a best friend who is divinely perfect!
Since I've been home I have made some changes in my approach to God. I have never been very consistent with Bible-reading or praying. I have been very on-again-off-again in that department. I'm not saying that's changed, but it's gotten better. Or at least my on-again period seems to be getting longer, which is a good thing!
I have started journaling prayers and Bible verses. This has been such a useful tool. Not only does it help me look back and remember things I've prayed for and see how/if God has answered my prayers, but it has changed the tone of my prayers. When I write out what I say to God, I'm careful about what I say and how I say it... it's not about it being a more beautiful prayer, but somehow it is by my attitude. When I write to God, it's more thought-out, like a letter. I actually say the things I want to say and don't say things I don't need or want to say. It's like thinking before you speak... novel concept, yes?! For me, yes!
I have renewed some friendships since my return to Elkton. I will not say that they are friendships that SHOULD have been renewed, but because my attitude has changed, or at least shifted, they can now work in a way that does not interfere with my submission to Christ. And because my attitude has changed, I can now SEE when or if they are becoming a problem.
I have never had so much control before, but at the same time, it's not ME in control, it's me allowing God to be! It's a huge relief!
This is all positive, and the list continues though I cannot think of them all at the moment. But I would also like to share the down-side, or at least some of it. It is so hard for me to live with my father, a highly negative person.
I have become much better about keeping myself unto myself... or not allowing other people's attitudes to influence my own. I used to be pretty much controlled by whatever everyone else in the room was feeling. I have not completely changed, though. So, it's still a downer for me, though I have gotten much better about keeping my joy in the Lord instead of my happiness in others.
It's also somewhat of a downer just living here, for several reasons. When I live with my parents, I have set a routine over the years of doing the bare minimum and becoming content to stay there and be lazy. I fall into a pattern of just squeaking by and staying home on the couch on my behind for as much of the day as I can manage to do.
Consequently, it's very easy for me to fall into depressions, bad attitudes, general slothfulness. It's fairly disgusting. I really want to change that, but once you're there it's such a huge up-hill battle!
For any of you reading this, whether you know me or not or want to say anything to me directly or not (I will gladly take constructive criticism, encouragement, whatever you want to offer!) I entreat you to please pray for me! Please pray that I will obey the Lord and want to do the right thing in this area! Pray the Lord gives my heart the right attitude when I do not seek that for myself and help me to be the daughter to my parents, and friend to those around me or far away who count on me, that they need and which God has planned for me to be!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)