I have decided that there are a lot of things that I do because I want to or because I feel like it. I have also decided that feeling like it and wanting to are not very good reasons for doing things, in and of themselves.
For example, I have been writing posts on this blog of mine at whim, whenever I feel like it and want to. I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't think that's a very good reason for blog-writing, at least... when I started this blog I had a clear purpose in mind for it, and to write on it for such reasons as "feeling like it" and "cuz I wanna" defeats that purpose.
I have also decided that I really need some organization in my life... News-flash moment, yes?? =]
No, to be serious, organization is an area I'm extremely lacking in, whether from laziness or ... I don't know what.
I have also decided that I've been decidedly in the habit of, sort of just drifting along... through life... as though... I were an apple blossom... caught in a gentle, Spring breeze...
BLECK. I'm TIRED OF IT. I am tired of feeling aimless and blown about. That's part of the reason why I moved to Redmond in the first place, and here I am falling into my old pattern of behavior.
I guess it's not that surprising, seeing as what human nature IS after all... but I'M TIRED OF BEING HUMAN!
I feel like being a bit SUPER-human for once. I know a lot of people whom I would classify as seeming super-human. I am not one of them. Me-thinks it's time for a change.
...oof.
So. What does THAT look like??
Abraham, Joseph, Joshuah, Gideon, Daniel, Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman... I could go on. Again, "Oof."
Well, guess what's on my agenda? Try: Revamping Entire Self. For starters.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Blessing Of Friendship
I have so many wonderful friends... God has blessed my life richly.
I have one particular friend who is rather more like a sister to me. Her name is Ronni (Riri, Ron, Ronaldo, or *gasp* her actual name: Rianna).
Ronni calls me periodically and I never answer my phone. So then she leaves a wonderfully enchanting, rambling and sometimes fairly garbled, but always very long, message on my voicemail. Then I'll call her back or sometimes she calls me several more times and anyway, eventually either I call and she answers or she'll call me for like the third time and I'll answer.
We talk. We talk for hours and hours and hours, unless she's on a fifteen-minute break or driving to a class. She tells me all the funny sories she's saved up for the past month or so (I never have any funny stories for her) and then we talk about our lives and what God's doing, or our frustrations.
I always try to fix all her problems, because that's what big sisters DO, right?? And I always come away feeling blessed by our discussion. We never small talk. She's too busy, for one thing, and we have way too much real stuff to talk about. She thinks about everything a LOT and I think about everything quite a bit, so we always have a lot of philosophizing to do with each other.
We always ask each other questions. Questions for the other person and questions we're struggling with ourselves. She is not at all afraid of REALLY HARD, SCARY, and sometimes yucky questions that nobody likes to deal with. I'm usually game for them, too, even if I don't always go searching them out and so we ask each other all these questions.
It's really hard to ask yourself hard questions without doing a lot of thinking about them and soul-searching and I find that having a discussion with Ronni helps clear out some of the cob-webs and a lot of the time it helps get me back on track or at least motivated to move in my walk with God.
Anyway, so that's Ronni.
Then there is the Mazur family. They are amazing. They have been friends with my family since I was like 8 or 9; we did homeschool together and piano lessons and AWANAs for like two minutes... anyway. This summer they invited me to come live with them.
So now I live in Redmond with the Mazurs. They have a dairy goat farm and Erin has Angora goats. I help milk two goats every morning and every evening and today I helped Mrs. Mazur clean out a stall in their barn and level it with dirt. Last month they put a lawn in in their back yard and we worked on it together for weeks getting it level, raking dirt, leveling some more, raking more dirt... yeah. It's been fun!
I had been living at home with my parents in the the middle of town in Cottage Grove; we had just moved the year before from Elkton where our church family was so we weren't going to a church. I kept the house clean and fixed dinner and did laundry and that was pretty much it. I stayed home while Mom went to work all day and Dad stayed in his office because that's what Daddy does.
Now I live with a family that is pretty much always around me; I attend their fellowship every Sunday (when we're home); there's always so much to do around the house and farm so I'm always busy/occupied with something. There's pretty much always someon to talk to so I'm not left to think to myself all day long.
I can't believe how much the Lord has blessed me with good friends.
I do get homesick, but that's nice in a way. It just means that I have a good life here and I have a family somewhere besides here that loves me a lot and whom I love, too.
I have one particular friend who is rather more like a sister to me. Her name is Ronni (Riri, Ron, Ronaldo, or *gasp* her actual name: Rianna).
Ronni calls me periodically and I never answer my phone. So then she leaves a wonderfully enchanting, rambling and sometimes fairly garbled, but always very long, message on my voicemail. Then I'll call her back or sometimes she calls me several more times and anyway, eventually either I call and she answers or she'll call me for like the third time and I'll answer.
We talk. We talk for hours and hours and hours, unless she's on a fifteen-minute break or driving to a class. She tells me all the funny sories she's saved up for the past month or so (I never have any funny stories for her) and then we talk about our lives and what God's doing, or our frustrations.
I always try to fix all her problems, because that's what big sisters DO, right?? And I always come away feeling blessed by our discussion. We never small talk. She's too busy, for one thing, and we have way too much real stuff to talk about. She thinks about everything a LOT and I think about everything quite a bit, so we always have a lot of philosophizing to do with each other.
We always ask each other questions. Questions for the other person and questions we're struggling with ourselves. She is not at all afraid of REALLY HARD, SCARY, and sometimes yucky questions that nobody likes to deal with. I'm usually game for them, too, even if I don't always go searching them out and so we ask each other all these questions.
It's really hard to ask yourself hard questions without doing a lot of thinking about them and soul-searching and I find that having a discussion with Ronni helps clear out some of the cob-webs and a lot of the time it helps get me back on track or at least motivated to move in my walk with God.
Anyway, so that's Ronni.
Then there is the Mazur family. They are amazing. They have been friends with my family since I was like 8 or 9; we did homeschool together and piano lessons and AWANAs for like two minutes... anyway. This summer they invited me to come live with them.
So now I live in Redmond with the Mazurs. They have a dairy goat farm and Erin has Angora goats. I help milk two goats every morning and every evening and today I helped Mrs. Mazur clean out a stall in their barn and level it with dirt. Last month they put a lawn in in their back yard and we worked on it together for weeks getting it level, raking dirt, leveling some more, raking more dirt... yeah. It's been fun!
I had been living at home with my parents in the the middle of town in Cottage Grove; we had just moved the year before from Elkton where our church family was so we weren't going to a church. I kept the house clean and fixed dinner and did laundry and that was pretty much it. I stayed home while Mom went to work all day and Dad stayed in his office because that's what Daddy does.
Now I live with a family that is pretty much always around me; I attend their fellowship every Sunday (when we're home); there's always so much to do around the house and farm so I'm always busy/occupied with something. There's pretty much always someon to talk to so I'm not left to think to myself all day long.
I can't believe how much the Lord has blessed me with good friends.
I do get homesick, but that's nice in a way. It just means that I have a good life here and I have a family somewhere besides here that loves me a lot and whom I love, too.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
If I Stand, Let Me Stand On The Promise...
"If I stand, let me stand on the promise: You have brought me through; and if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You. If I sing, let me sing for the joy that has born in me this song; and if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home." ~Rich Mullins
Lately I feel like I'm spending way more time falling on God's grace than I am standing on His promises. So, I guess, it's really good He's provided that loving platform for me.
But why can't I get my act together???
Wouldn't it be nice to stand bold, with confidence, claiming and living the promises of God? Instead I feel like a weak and miserable worm - constantly mooching off the grace, love and goodness of my Savior.
I really think the problem is a lack of spending time in the Word, coupled with tiredness. Or possibly, the tiredness is caused, or at least exascerbated, by the lack of time spent in communion with my Lord... either way the case is clear: Lela is being lazy and stupid and needs a kick in her fanny.
I'm tired of falling on the grace; I want to start standing on the promises of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm tired of weeping and moaning within myself and basically spending most of my days in a vague and mist-filled sort of pity-party; I want to sing for the joy that has born in me songs of worship, love and adoration of my Savior.
He has done it. He did it on the cross, so that I could live.
Lately I feel like I'm spending way more time falling on God's grace than I am standing on His promises. So, I guess, it's really good He's provided that loving platform for me.
But why can't I get my act together???
Wouldn't it be nice to stand bold, with confidence, claiming and living the promises of God? Instead I feel like a weak and miserable worm - constantly mooching off the grace, love and goodness of my Savior.
I really think the problem is a lack of spending time in the Word, coupled with tiredness. Or possibly, the tiredness is caused, or at least exascerbated, by the lack of time spent in communion with my Lord... either way the case is clear: Lela is being lazy and stupid and needs a kick in her fanny.
I'm tired of falling on the grace; I want to start standing on the promises of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm tired of weeping and moaning within myself and basically spending most of my days in a vague and mist-filled sort of pity-party; I want to sing for the joy that has born in me songs of worship, love and adoration of my Savior.
He has done it. He did it on the cross, so that I could live.
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